Category: Parody & Humour

Report: Canadiens considering Pierre McGuire to replace Jeff Gorton

By Matt Drake | Apr 1st 2023 | 3 min read |

It was recently suggested by Martin Leclerc that the Montreal Canadiens’ executive vice-president of hockey operations, Jeff Gorton, has grown a...

The Infamy of Sprague Ribinsoin

By Justin Blades | Dec 10th 2020 | 0 min read |

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2020 Montreal Canadiens Top 25 Under 25: #1 Sprague Ribinsoin

By Matt Drake | Dec 6th 2020 | 7 min read |

It has been six long years since Sprague Ribinsoin was last named number one on EOTP’s annual list. It was a controversial selection at the time, gi...

A Bitter Bandwagoner’s Stanley Cup Playoffs Guide

By Scott Matla | Apr 10th 2019 | 8 min read |

The Stanley Cup Playoffs are here. Unfortunately, the Montreal Canadiens will not have a chance to add a 25th Cup to their loaded trophy cabinet, so t...

2013 Habs Top 25 Under 25: #1 Sprague Ribinsoin

By Andrew Berkshire | Feb 24th 2019 | 8 min read |

On the matter of Sprague’s potentially controversial inclusion in this year’s voting, given he is notionally 27 years of age, readers shou...

[Video] Why isn't Jonathan Drouin wearing any pants on the bench?

By Scott Matla | Nov 5th 2017 | 2 min read |

So after scoring his third goal of the year, and breaking the deadlock against the Chicago Blackhawks Sunday night, things got a little bit weird on t...

The EOTP staff predicts the 2017-18 Canadiens season

By Patrik Bexell | Oct 5th 2017 | 7 min read |

Brad Simpson: Montreal will mostly do well, be competitive. Have one lull during the season but recover from it. At the trade deadline, Marc Bergevin ...

The seven great houses of the Canadiens alliance: A Game of Thrones crossover

By Kyle Medeiros | Jul 17th 2017 | 7 min read |

Season seven of Game of Thrones begins tonight, and in honour of the epic fantasy we will be looking at the seven great houses of the Montreal Canadie...

‘Twas the Night Before Expansion

By Shayna | Jun 21st 2017 | 2 min read |

‘Twas the day before Expansion, and all though the citiesNot a creature was stirring, there were no more committees.The protected lists were release...

A list of reasons why Jimmy Vesey should sign with the Montreal Canadiens

By Matt Drake | Aug 16th 2016 | 5 min read |

Jimmy Vesey has been the hottest topic in hockey for some time. Mostly because there has been exactly nothing to talk about, but also because he’...