Habs Twitter Draft: Pre-draft Interviews – Part 2

The questions I asked were:

1. Would you prefer to be drafted by Andrew or Arik, and why?
2. If drafted, what would you bring to the table (this is basically tell us what you tweet about)?
3. If you were a food, what kind of food would you be?
4. Have you done any training during the offseason to prepare you to tweet once the season starts?
5. Besides yourself, who (Habs-related) would you recommend people follow on Twitter?

Here are the responses.

First up, we have @thefranchiseca

1. I want to be drafted by Andrew just to see how long before I get traded, cut, or sent to the minors with all the scraps I plan on getting into with him 😉
2. I plan on going full Ying/Yang mode … I will be the voice of reason when chaos and panic hold the hearts of habs fans, or the voice of insanity because there is no way people should all agree on what should be done with Canadiens, because hey, we know best!
3. A big slice of something decadent, chocolatey, hint of raspberry, hard icing exterior, soft and moist on the inside, flowing chocolate inside versus the hard chocolate outside … damn that sounds GOOD! What was the question again?
4. I make sure 10% of my tweets are God-related, because the Habs are going to need all the help they can get.
5. For sure theactivestick, since in person her smile is way too distracting. [TAS note: the check is in the mail.]

Followed by @DrDougBoston

1. Both of them are fancy stats geeks, and I think in that regard I represent a good fit for either one: I have a tremendous follower to follow ratio, I’ve got strong possession stats in terms of keeping my followers, I’d buy followers if asked, and I tend to produce higher volumes in key situations (e.g., Bruins games, playoffs, Dave Stubbs tweets about texts he’s received from a player or the kidney he’s donated to an old timer). I also tweet fairly consistently independent of who I’m playing with on Twitter. The difference comes down to how I feel I’d perform for each, and for this reason I’d choose Arik. Andrew is an abrasive, combative prick, and I worry that I’d let his patronizing, know-it-all attitude related to every fucking thing pertaining to hockey get to me, resulting in angry tweeting and the potential for physical violence. Arik seems less wholly detestable.
2. Many now profess to hate the Bruins, but I’ve hated the Bruins for longer. I started hating them when the Habs were winning Cups in the 70s and I’ve continued hating them during long hateful periods during which other Johnny-come-lately haters didn’t hate them. In summary, I hate them. I have thus built a nice niche within the Habs fan Bruins haters subsegment. In the unlikely event that a Bruin hasn’t done something criminally stupid/violent or unintentionally hilarious, I’ll finish a check on a moronic Joe Haggerty tweet, retweet some Boston fan asshole, or take pictures of a standard issue local cretin doing something stupid in Bruins gear. If none of the above is occurring, I’m not beneath slandering a Bruins fan, media member, or player by making up a story entirely. You can expect a steady diet of Bruins loathing.
3. Anything that rots, because I’m increasingly hard to digest over time, often induce nausea and vomiting, and would prefer not to be eaten.
4. I’ve shed some followers with boorish and boring tweets this summer so I come into camp lean and fit. In early September I started my training regimen, increasing typing and communicating orally in strict 140 character outbursts. I’ve also been doing some blindfolded tweeting on my iPhone to improve my hand-eye coordination so that I can feign listening to patients, friends, and colleagues and/or have sex while tweeting.
5. I tend to enjoy people who provide a sense of humor and are a bit less bipolar about the Habs. @HeyMyNameIsWill is a long-time favorite – very funny and a solid person. @holyhabs87 is underfollowed and consistently high quality. @kyleroussel always has good sense about things, has a good blog, and is able to be objective and usually, in my opinion, accurate as well as insightful. @WinterLions is very witty and should return soon from his annual summer hiatus.

Then, we have @NickyFranchise

1. Arik, only because I haven’t had the pleasure of getting into an e-argument with HIM yet…. 😉
2. Some Habs/NHL insight, lots of sarcasm, good tweets when the Habs are doing well, awesome tweets when they are doing badly.
3. Eaten. but if you are looking for a symbolic answer, meatball seems to be the most fitting.
4. I may have contracted a thumb and forefinger type of carpal tunnel between the remote and my iphone, as I did not take the summer off.
5. The list is way too long … @Habslaughs, theactivestick, @stevenhindle, @rick1042, and I may get unfollowed by all the ones I didn’t mention, so … thanks for that!

And finally, the goalie, @number31

1. Andrew. I don’t know Arik. Either way I can’t even read EOTP sometimes because it won’t load [TAS note-if you ever have any issues loading EOTP let us, and by us I mean Andrew, know so we can tell Support].
2. If you need to give up 5 goals, I’m your goalie. Or score in the shootout. But my sparkling .450 save percentage is top-bottom in the semi-obscure blogger category who swear lots and maybe see things some people didn’t. Also I sometimes write Habs game recaps in a Tolkien fashion. Minus the songs. I also photoshop, including my prize photoshop of Lars Eller in Lars Attacks! as well as Mike Milbury and PJ Stock in Mike’s Apartment.
3. If I were a food I like, I’d eat myself… So probably dog food. Dogs can’t stop licking me anyway.
4. According to my timeline, and the fact I spend most of my evenings on the sofa with my computer in hand, I’ve trained hard at HGTV hate watching, TV marathon showings of bad Nicolas Cage films, posting photos of my dog, and swearing at how stupid the provincial government is, sprinkled in with a few W00Ts over the Giant Scottish Viking finally becoming a Hab, or facepalms as someone reminds me Briererere is on this team, as well as mocking various NHL stupidities like the five-thousand outdoor games, the jersey tuck rule, ridiculous “we had a lockout why?” contracts, ridiculous radio callers, et cetera.
5. Let’s go with @Mike_Habs. When he’s not yelling weird things about some soccer game, his Habsness is top notch.

A huge thanks to all our prospects for their time. In addition, if in the past week or so, you’ve responded to us on Twitter because you’d like to be considered for the draft, please feel free to answer the five questions in the comments below (not in Twitter @ replies, because that will annoy the shit out of everyone), it could go a long way to helping Andrew and Arik get to know you before the draft starts!