- George Parros is a wizard. According to my timeline on twitter he’s going to cast a magical spell on Chris Neil to prevent him from going full Chris Neil. I think people severely underestimate Neil’s stupidity.
- Has Zack Smith scored a goal against anyone else than the Habs? Feels like he hasn’t. Also, I hate you Zack Smith.
- Oh hey look, it’s 2-0.
- Oh hey look, it’s 3-0.
- Oh hey look, Subban is benched. Therrien for Adams!
- Wait, Markov just scored a hot garbage goal. And you know what? Against the Sens I feel no remorse, since they get 2-3 of those per game against the Habs.
- DREAAAAAAAM WEAAAAAAAAVER!
- I’m convinced that both Therrien and MacLean are actually two very drunk Russian monkeys parading in a coach’s costume. That would explain the first ten minutes of slopfest hockey in the first.
- Wait, you’re not telling me that the Sens are going to manage to….
- BLOW ANOTHER 3 GOAL LEAD! Bahahahaha…Never change Ottawa.
- 0:37 of ice time for Subban in the first period. Anger rising.
- Parros had more ice time than Subban. ANGER RISING.
- Ottawa is going to miss the playoffs….anger leaving.
- Ottawa just got a legitimate goal refused. Anger almost gone.
- Subban only has one shift in the first 7 minutes of the second. Anger rising.
- Ottawa is absolutely railroading the Habs in the second. Sitting at 70% Corsi% at the mid-way point. Also, Subban isn’t playing much at all. THAT MUST BE A COINCIDENCE. Anger taking over……
- Don’t look now, but Pacioretty is tied with some guy called Sidney Crosby and some fatty called Phil Kessel for 4th in the NHL in terms of goal scoring. But he’s soft and a perimeter player, so it’s all relative.
- Oh hey look, he’s now all alone in 4th. Did I mention that he gets paid $4.5M per year until 2019?
- Chris Neil did something stupid. NO. FREAKING. WAY. I guess Parros must not have enough mana to cast his spell of anti-stupidity.
- Speaking of Neil. The Sens playoff chances sat at 0.30% before this game started, which is coincidentally the same amount of brain activity they found when they did Chris Neil’s neural scan.
- You know, our power play sucks. It sucks harder than…well, I don’t know. Something that sucks a lot. Not a vacuum, because sometimes vacuums struggle to pick up a penny. Maybe a nuclear reactor vent? Are those things vented? I wonder if people still wear onions on their belt. It was the style at the time in my day. Now, because of the war you could only get white onions, none of those communist Spanish onions for us. No sir…Anyways, what was I saying? Oh yeah, play Beaulieu. Now. God damn it.
- Let’s all queue up Dream Weaver and blast it, because not only is it a rockin’ hippy song from my youth, but so far Mike Weaver has been a dream. A perfect addition to what was a very unstable d-corps. Well, they’re still unstable, but less-so with Weaver.
- Screw the fancy stats, am I right? Beating Ottawa is great. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am definitely not over the playoff loss last year. Another time, Fenwick. This one is too delicious to worry about the big picture.
- A Pacioretrick. Ooooooooh yeah. Anger nowhere to be found. It’s the most goals a Habs player has scored since Vincent Damphousse.
- Every single time Markov gets the slightest knock he falls down like there’s a sniper in the stands. It’s really stressful for Habs fans, I hope he knows that.
- Here’s a picture of Chris Neil golfing. No relation to this game, I swear.
- This is amazing. It doesn’t even matter if we’re Leafing our way to victory. Nothing can sour me on this win.
- TOUCHDOWN!
- Zack Smith is a really tough guy, until Parros or Tinordi shows up.
- Thomas Vanek’s hockey IQ is off the charts.
- Budaj might have allowed 4 goals, but he actually played a great game.
- It’s official, we have a legitimate 1st line, and it feels great. Like beating the Sens and watching them golf come playoffs.
- Yup, definitely still not over that playoffs loss.
- Habs fans are chanting “nah nanh nah nanh hey hey goodbye” in Ottawa’s barn. Alright, I might officially be over last year’s playoffs.
Highlights, so, so many highlights:
The beginning of the Sens collapse
Dream Weaver:
Pacioretty’s first of many:
Eller gets in on the action:
PaciOOOHretty:
It’s a Pacioretty goal bonanza!
Desharnais makes it 7 past Anderson:
