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A Bitter Bandwagoner Habs Fan’s TSM: Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy

Posted on by Namiko Hitotsubashi

It’s a BEAUTIFUL day, I’ve been super productive, and feel very acomplished. I also have a drink, and there’s hockey. What could be better.

Fortunately, King Hank is ok, and he’s playing. Bad news, still no Fleury. However, Zatkoff was ok, so maybe it’s for the best!

“If you lose sight of Sidney Crosby, the puck is in the back of the net.”

Oh, you mean like this?

First Period

  • Anthem fly-by of the bench: Haeglin’s flow is the best. Super pretty. I Adore Sid, but his playoff beard…
  • GENO IS BAAAACKKKK
  • Ok… the banana yellow filling the arena is impressive…but an eyesore. And no, I don’t care that’s not gold.
  • Pls bubblewrap Määtä.
  • The Penguins look much better today to start than last time.
  • HOW DID MALKIN AND LETANG NOT SCORE? oh. Lundqvist. Man the Penguins are not fair though.
  • Gahhh!!! Stepan all by himself!! AHHHHHH Zatkoff!!!!!! I love hockey.
  • Crosby and Malkin playing together is 100%. Also 100% not fair.
  • It’s so nice to see a team playing with active defensemen, and a beautiful breakout.
  • You know what’s almost as annoying as the Pacioretty/Subban rift narrative? The Malkin/Crosby one.
  • Pens get the first powerplay. Hayes is grumpy. It was pretty obvious.
  • Kessel, Crosby, Letang, Malkin and Hornqvist. That’s just. That’s really just not fair.
  • A whole series of Crosby vs Lundqvist. Seriously, we’re so lucky.
  • Hornqvist is in a tussle. Exactly no one is surprised that he’s tussling with Zuccarello.
  • Vigneault pulls Lundqvist for five on four with 1.5 seconds left in the first.
  • No go./

Second Period

  • AHHH NASH BREAKAWAYYYY
  • Zatkoff turns it away like it’s nothing.
  • Zuccarello leaves the box, Zuccarello goes back to the box. Bad boy, Mats.
  • Crosby, Kessel, Letang and Malkin flying through the neutral zone together is a thing of beauty.
  • Phil Kessel may be good at hockey, you guys. Wow. that entire play, starting with Hornqvist, Daley and Bonino to Kessel. Wow.
  • The Pens are really buzzing right now, but Lundqvist is Lundqvist.
  • Rangers look super dangerous…and then all fall down.
  • The Penguins have been stuck in their own zone forever. Now they’ve drawn a penalty. Pardon me while I go hide.
  • Fortunately, the Pens’ PK is pretty good.
  • um…….
  • UMMMMMM………..
  • So why is this a goal, and the Tarasenko goal wasn’t? NHL YOU MAKE NO SENSE.
  • Oh geez…Pittsburgh, get yourselves together…
  • GET YOUR HEAD BACK IN THE GAME PITTSBURGH.
  • Arrrrgggggg Rust tried, but you the King’s crown remains untarnished.
  • Anything Hank can do, Zat can do better. (Ok, not actually, but that was a pretty stop.)
  • I don’t need to see repeated replays of Hank getting speared in the eye by his own player.
  • So…you know that thing about getting their heads back in the game, and getting themselves together? That’s exactly the opposite of what I meant.
  • And then Miller takes a TERRIBLE penalty.
  • Wow Penguins. That second waive of the powerplay was pretty terrible.
  • sigh/

  • Ew. Gross./

Third Period

  • …Why did it have to be Kreider.
  • Sooooo… your back up is Tristan Jarry…
  • Zatkoff isn’t going anywhere.
  • This could get ugly(er).
  • Penguins, please go back to remembering how to defence. Because you left your defence somewhere in the beginning of the second period.
  • Oh Sid.
  • HAHAHHAHAHA Kreider.
  • That second cross check was the height of stupidity, Yandle.
  • PHILLY CHEEEEESEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
  • Man. Yet another beautiful play.
  • Haeglin, in addition to having beautiful hair, is ridiculously fast.
  • The Penguins are buzzing, the building is buzzing.
  • THE NET WAS WIDE OPEN.
  • HOW DO YOU MISS THAT.
  • Oh geez…Stepan…
  • And now a fight.
  • ZATKOFF
  • This game is definitely on the Penguins’ skaters, and not as much on Zatkoff. They started well and ended kind of ok, but they were really, really lousy in the middle in front of him.
  • Aaaand now E. Staal is hurt. Possibly.
  • They’re really trying in the last three minutes here…but one gets the feeling that it’s too little, too late.
  • Penguins really buzzing, but indeed too little, too late.
  • Lundqvist shuts all doors./

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