If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
My name is Pete Blackburn, and I am GIFBOY. I earned this nickname from The Greatest Sportswriter Who Ever Lived thanks to my excessive production of hockey GIFs and Vines, a trade I will be bringing to Eyes On The Prize throughout the Habs’ 2015 Stanley Cup Playoff run.
Here’s a little taste of what you can expect:
Also, did I mention I’m a Bruins fan? Well, I’m a Bruins fan. I hate you and you hate me. Glad we got that out of the way.
Considering the Bruins pissed all over themselves and freed up my postseason schedule, Berkshire decided to reach out and see if I would be interested in helping out this lovely site by capturing some of the Canadiens‘ highs and lows – hopefully mostly lows – as they embark on their quest for hockey glory. Since I was sad and vulnerable following the embarrassing demise of my beloved hockey team, I said yes.
I know it’s a bad idea and I’m going to feel guilty about it afterwards, but it will temporarily help take my mind off of being a total loser with nobody to hold onto in the postseason. I guess you could call this my rebound sex.
While trying to convince myself that I wasn’t going to forever regret selling my soul for some extra exposure and/or blood money, I came up with a comprehensive list of reasons why I’m willing to temporarily associate myself with the Montreal Canadiens.
It wasn’t easy, but here is that list:
1. Andrew Berkshire – A managing editor of this here domain. Though he often lives up to that lovely “Jerkshire” nickname, he’s been very kind to me through our many interactions online and became one of the first Canadiens fans I felt comfortable considering a…*gulp*…friend.
2. Marc Dumont – For all the reasons listed above, minus the whole “being an infamous jerk” thing.
3. Laura/theactivestick – Are you starting to understand that a huge part of the reason I decided to help out is because the people who write for this site are really great?
4. Sarah Connors – The managing editor of Stanley Cup of Chowder and an overall wonderful person sold her playoff allegiance to the Habs for a much better cause than I (please donate here) but I’m glad to have a fellow Bruins fan to stand alongside in the crowd of all you terrible people.
5. Max Pacioretty & Alex Galchenyuk – Good players from a great country.
6. Jay Baruchel – Canadiens fan, reader of this site. Somehow hoping providing my services to EOTP helps me become friends with him, at least until he gets super creeped out by me constantly telling him how much I love ‘Undeclared.’
7. Sara Diamond – Reasons. Beautiful, angelic reasons.
8. Marc Bergevin – I am super jealous of how handsome and stylish your GM is. Can you blame me?
9. My pal, PK – Being from Boston, I know I’m supposed to be all racist while wearing my “PK SUBBAN, DIVE CAPTAIN” t-shirt, but I’m one of the few willing to admit he’s a terrific player and seems like an even better human. Just one of the most likable guys in all of sports. Also, we go back.
10. Habs – That nickname is stupid as hell but it’s also pretty close to ‘Hams’ and ham is seriously delicious. Also, I promised myself I’d find 10 reasons.
Now that we’ve got the introduction and excuses out of the way, I’ll be happy to #StickToGIFs for the remainder of my employment on this site. Hopefully it lasts all of four games.
