Pre-Game Thoughts:
- Sure, the Ducks are the worst team in the NHL by a fair margin, and they’re down two starting goalies, and other things
- They’re somehow going to make the Habs sweat tonight right?
- Though my hope is for a big night from Juraj Slafkovsky and that no one ends up injured.
- Oh boy, Craig Button is going to yell at so many people tonight.
- Also as a reminder, the reverse retros are absolutely cursed, Ducks by 5./
First Period
- Sorry I misspoke, the Ducks are the worst team in the NHL in every category, except the power play.
- I’d hate to be the team worse than them!
- Well, the top line hit the offensive zone and finally get some chances, more of that please.
- The rest of the team so far uh, looks less than ideal!
- Joel Armia going around the entire offensive zone, and it yielding nothing makes me intensely sad.
- Oh no, the Habs are going to the power play.
- Guys they’re using Nathan Beaulieu as a penalty killer, you deserve to be booed for this.
- I’ve watched a lot of Montreal Canadiens hockey, this is not a game that I would recommend looking back on fondly.
- And the Ducks immediately score on the power play, this is not what you wanna see!
- Jesus actual Christ Habs, what the hell is this.
- Whew, I thought the Habs were about to go back to the power play for a second.
- There’s losing a period, then there’s getting dunked on by the Ducks and boy the Habs certainly did the latter.
- Period two has to be better right?/
Second Period
- I can’t tell if this was a better start to the period, or if the bar is very low after the last one.
- Another long range point shot should get this team back on track!
- After calling everything last night the officials seemingly don’t want to call anything tonight.
- Not that we’re begging to see the Habs power play at this point either.
- Well, we’re going to get it anyways I guess.
- I don’t think I’ve ever seen a team fail to complete so many simple passes in a single game before.
- This might be the least I’ve written for a period in an article this year, and to be honest I don’t think I’ve missed anything at all.
- Who is ready to end the period with booing the power play!
- Drouin’s stick shattering to end the period is just a perfect representation of this game so far.
- Well, 20 minutes left to beat the worst team in the league!/
Third Period
- I have also been watching Bar Rescue clips during the intermission and am now imagining Jon Taffer storming into the Bell Centre to yell at Alex Burrows.
- Well, the power play did not score…Again.
- At this point one of the Habs should just punch a Duck to negate the man advantage.
- Oh thank god, Cole Caufield still rules.
- Poor Drouin, even when he does everything right he can’t buy a goal.
- And Slafkovsky got demoted, for some reason?
- COLE CAUFIELD RULES SO HARD Y’ALL.
- Also what a series of good plays by…Mike Hoffman??
- And naturally the Habs just give the lead right back.
- Because Jordan Harris trips his own goalie.
- I don’t know what the refs expect Hoffman to do there, the goalie is out of his crease and he’s trying to play the puck.
- Oh there are so many words I want to say about the officiating, all of which are not family friendly.
- Allen to the bench, is there any miracle juice left in the Habs?
- Or Drouin can just let the guy blow by him and score into the empty net.
- I can’t tell if I’m absolutely furious, or just intensely sad.
- Don’t worry though, the Lightning are the next team on the schedule this Saturday.
- Onward to the next one friends. /
EOTP 3 Stars
3) Thankful for the breath of fresh air that is Cole Caufield
2) It’s going to stick
1) This Rat injects the site with life
