Comments / New

A Bitter Bandwagoner Habs Fan’s TSM: They Paid Their Dues

Posted on by Namiko Hitotsubashi

How peak Sidney Crosby would it be if he won the Cup on the anniversary of his last Cup? This could be the last game of the season, and quite frankly, I hope it is.

Moments of silence make me so nervous, but fortunately that one went off with complete hush.

First Period

  • Crosby and Thornton already going at it.
  • I just ate a whole pizza. I’m going to regret this decision. Rather like the Sharks might just regret the fact that no one got a stick on that puck as the Penguins scrambled for it. Kessel might regret that whiff. There might be a lot of regret going around shortly.
  • The Penguins are having their way with the Sharks. Every time the Sharks try for something, the Penguins come right back.
  • Oh man that could have been really bad for the Penguins. Two-on-one for Nieto and Tierney, a huge rebound, but Tierney got all tied up with the racing second defenceman.
  • Penguins keep the fourth line stuck in their own end for a long time after an icing, and it leads to the first powerplay of the game. Announcers quick to remind us that the Penguins scored on another Zubrus penalty in the last game.
  • And the script repeats itself. Great point shot from Brian Dumoulin puts the Penguins up 1-0.
  • Karlsson is down. Did the splits into the boards after a collision with Olli Määtä. Ouch. Can’t exactly blame Määtä though.
  • The puck is taking some funny bounces tonight, causing the Crosbys and Kessels of the world to whiff.
  • Ahhhhhhh!!! Kunitz stops Ward’s one-on-none chance. That was quite a play there. Sharks have had some huge chances, and been stymied by either the Penguins’ defence, or by Matt Murray.
  • Woah Karlsson is back.
  • Thats two incredible plays by the Penguins, and Jones is standing on his head. That could have been two goals right there to Crosby and Sheary. Sid’s a wrecking ball this game.
  • No rust on those wheels.
  • Now Kessel is robbed. And then Bonino. If the Sharks win, it will have been almost all Jones.
  • The Sharks are lucky to escape that period down one.

Second Period

  • The Penguins come flying out of the gate. Rust and Letang with some rockets on their skates, and the Sharks counter with their best shift of the game.
  • The Sharks are coming on fast and furious, but Murray is is solid under fire. They have their new best shift of the period.
  • Come on Pens. Get. It. Out.
  • Malkin sets up Rust, Jones stonewalls Rust, in absolute perfect position to make the save.
  • The HBK line being trapped in their own end by the fourth line isn’t great…
  • …neither is Logan Couture scoring.
  • WAKE. UP. PENGUINS. Oh hey. I think they heard me. At the very least, Sid did.
  • TANGER. They heard me alright.
  • I’d like to point it out that I was absolutely right

  • GAHH Pens are determined to give me a heart attack.
  • On the other hand, this is much more the way I assumed this series would go. The Sharks have realized that this is it.
  • Apparently Vlasic is missing from the Sharks bench. Huge if true.
  • OH MY GOD MALKIN MISSED. HOW DID HE MISS. HOW IS IT NOT THREE TO ONE.
  • Why didn’t Kunitz shoooooot. The net was WIDE open. How did Malkin not get that past Jones.
  • Crosby with a glorious chance off a nifty takeaway, and the play goes right the other way. This is playoff hockey.
  • Penguins ice the puck. *gulp*
  • Vlasic back, but I din’t think he’s played a shift yet…
  • Haeglin with the puck all alone in the last five seconds, but two Sharks converge, and the period ends.
  • Don’t mind me while I go catch my breath.

Third Period

  • I already can’t handle it, and the period hasn’t even started.
  • Vlasic is back.
  • Crosby and Sheary having themselves a shift. The Penguins are just masters of the puck right now. *tries not to hyperventilate*
  • Hornqvist with a huge block.
  • OH no. Oh no no no. Sharks powerplay. I’m going to go hide under my bed. Sheary looks as concerned as I feel right now.
  • Penguins did a very good job killing the penalty.
  • Please someone in white score soon. Preferably several times. I can’t handle this.
  • My stomach hurts, and it has nothing to do with all that pizza I ate earlier.
  • Ten minutes into the 3rd, the Sharks have one shot on goal. To be fair, the Penguins only have four, so it’s not like they’re being wildly outshot.
  • Hornqvist is a shot blocking machine right now. It’s impressive.
  • Penguins to the powerplay!!!
  • STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW THE PENGUINS ARE NINE MINUTES AWAY FROM THE CUP. YOU’RE MAKING ME SO NERVOUS. THE SHARKS ARE GUARANTEED TO WIN NOW.
  • Eight minutes.
  • They’re playing so carefully that nothing is happening. I can’t handle this.
  • Seven minutes.
  • Penalty killed.
  • What is air.
  • Six minutes.
  • THIS GAME IS TOO CLOSE. PLEASE SCORE PENGUINS.
  • Kessel tried. Jones said no.
  • Five minutes left.
  • The Sharks are playing with some desperation. I’m gonna need you to counter, Penguins…My heart is literally racing right now.
  • THERE’S TOO MUCH TIME.
  • Four minutes.
  • The Sharks are going to score. I can just feel it. It’s going to be fluky as hell, and I’m going to be so mad.
  • Three minutes.
  • Sharks ice the puck. Burns is incensed. The crowd is incensed. Malkin wins the draw. Shots are 6-1 Penguins.
  • Two minutes.
  • The net is empty. pandemonium in San Jose.
  • One minute
  • HORNQVIST WITH THE OPEN NET. OH MY GOD.
  • After throwing himself in front of shots all night, Hornqvist gets one of his own in. Crosby blocks the shot, passes to Hornqvist.
  • 30 seconds.
  • Penguins penalty, but it doesn’t matter.
  • They did it. They won.
  • Murray has won the Cup.Kessel has won the Cup.
  • They won it for Duper.
  • Sid can stop hanging up photos of the other Cup-winning Captains.
  • Last time the Penguins won the Cup, they fired their coach half way through the season, Crosby touched the President’s trophy, and they won on the road. This year, they fired their coach, and touched the President’s trophey, so I asked:/

The answer? It’s absolutely peak Sidney Crosby.

  • Booing Gary Bettman, as is tradition.
  • The Con Smythe goes to Sid
  • My bracket is saved.
  • Enjoy it Penguins. You deserve it./

Highlights

Support Habs Eyes On The Prize by signing up for Norton 360

Talking Points