1,000 words of praise for Erik Karlsson

This article is another one from my charity series. I tweeted that if I hit a certain amount by the end of one day I would write a thousand words of praise for Erik Karlsson, and some lovely (well… Andrew might disagree on that point) Sens fans obliged and donated and I hit that goal within about half an hour. Thank you for your generosity, Sens fans, and I hope Adnan, in particular, enjoys this piece. Below, you will find one thousand words of praise for Erik Karlsson. Okay, one thousand words that are kinds of mostly about Erik Karlsson, none of which are mean cheap shots.

So, the first thing I would like to talk about when it comes to Erik Karlsson is his kindness and generosity, since we’re speaking of charity. In fact, when I asked, on Twitter, what people’s favourite Erik Karlsson moment was, the overwhelming majority of responses referred to his generosity, specifically in this instance:

I think you would all agree that that was one of the greatest Erik Karlsson moments of all time. What a charitable donation that was, huh. I mean… Ryan White.

Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to a few facts about Erik Karlsson (many of which I gleaned from his Twitter account, which is way more interesting than some hockey stat page for the purposes of an article like this):

• Erik Karlsson is not Zdeno Chara. That is a fact. That is the best fact about Erik Karlsson right there.
• One time he won the Norris Trophy because according to NHL.com, he plays ‘D’ and also he scored the most points that year. Apparently, that’s how you win the Norris.
• Except when PK wins it, of course. PK won it because he is the best.
• Erik Karlsson appears to be an Arsenal fan. I will hear no arguments, this makes him okay not the vilest player in the NHL in my books.
• I find it really annoying when people ask athletes and celebrities for retweets on the Twitters, but Karlsson retweets his fans, which I guess makes them feel good, so you know, it’s kind. He mostly retweets the ones who ask for retweets when they’re trying to raise money for charity, so that’s a cool thing.
• One of my Twitter friends pointed this out to me, but one time he posted a picture of himself and his wife in Rome and he was wearing jorts. JORTS. Erik Karlsson wearing jorts made my evening when I found that out.
• He is an adorable puppy parent.
• He is definitely better than Sidney Crosby at growing facial hair. Unfortunately for him, Sidney Crosby is about the only NHLer he beats in this department… except Patrick Kane, maybe?
• He supports Hopeful Hearts, a canine rescue in Ottawa that specializes in dogs with special needs. I KNOW, RIGHT?
• He’s got some sort of bromance going on with defense partner (and also Team Canada Olympic Camp invitee) Marc Methot, and now I have a one-sided bromance going on with Marc Methot, so you know. BROMANCE BY ASSOCIATION.
• Girls can have bromances, I checked.
• He was once part of pretty much the only useful thing Benoit Pouliot did as a Montreal Canadien.
• Did we already do the jorts thing? Okay, cause this is beginning to get kind of hard.
• Okay, so on a scale of 1 to the rest of the division, he’s one of the least hateable players. I mean, compare him to Zdeno Chara and Chris Neil and Brad Marchand and Milan Lucic and the entire Buffalo Sabres roster but mostly Patrick Kaleta (that lowlife asswipe shithead) and whoever the Tampa Bay Lightning and Florida Panthers players we’re supposed to hate are… he’s more than pretty okay.
• Let’s talk about these shoes for a second.
• Half his tweets are sweet things and compliments directed at his wife, which is kind of the cutest.
• He seems to be a hell of a lot smarter and more engaged than you would expect your average professional athlete to be. I am all about that.
• Also something about “sick” and “flow” because this is hockey.
• This one time, he did this, which pissed us all off at the time but I mean it’s kinda funny now… especially after we had a season of frustration with David Desharnais and his contract extension.
• I looked up his draft video and Pierre McGuire called him a Swedish Brian Rafalski. Which is all kindsa Pierre McGuire, isn’t it. Anyway, he is clearly not a Swedish Brian Rafalski. Brian Rafalski has won three Stanley Cups.
• Also, he was totally adorable during his interview with James Duthie. I remember wanting to put him in my pocket and knit him a little sweater. The quality of the one video I found because all the rest of them are from the All Star Game fantasy draft (at which we learned that he babysat Alfie’s kids and also they made their dad promise he’d pick Karlsson first) isn’t great but it’s totally worth watching. “I gotta add some muscles,” he says. SQUISH.
• I… um… just realized he was born in 1990, which means he is a CHILD. Most of the 90s babies I know still can’t figure out how to do laundry or pay their cell phone bill, and he’s got a Norris Trophy.
• To be fair, maybe he never learned how to do laundry or pay his cell phone bill himself, we don’t really know for sure, but you know. All the other 90s babies who don’t know how to do laundry or pay their cell phone bill don’t have a Norris Trophy while not knowing how to do laundry or pay their cell phone bill.
• If you’ve never been to Sweden, it’s worth a visit. It’s gorgeous, and the people I met there are lovely, and there are a lot of great things about it, and I’m going to give him points by association, because this is getting to be insanely hard.
• Okay, let’s wrap up. He’s an amazing player, incredibly fun to watch, seems like an all-around decent guy, and unlike some other players we won’t name who have red hair and who wore the number 11 in Ottawa and are old and now play for another team in the division even though it doesn’t really have much more of a shot at the Stanley Cup than Ottawa does, isn’t a traitor.
• I mean, he’s no P.K. Subban, but then again, who is? And that’s about the nicest thing you can say about Erik Karlsson, so we’ll end this here on that note.