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How to behave at tonight’s Montreal Canadiens vs Boston Bruins game

  • Do remember who owns this matchup historically, while quietly sobbing about 2011.
  • Don’t spill beer on visiting Bruins fans. Convincing them to go buy some at Bell Centre prices is enough of a prank.
  • Do educate them about this year’s version of the Habs. “We used to have this guy named Lars Eller, too, but we think Michel Therrien might have killed him and hidden the body.”
  • Don’t gloat about the Habs having re-signed P.K. Subban. Remind them that they got the faulty Subban brother instead.
  • Do ask them if they think Dougie Hamilton is the next Bobby Orr. I hear they love nothing more than hearing that a player is the next Bobby Orr.
  • Don’t ask them where Tim Thomas is. He’s probably right behind you.
  • Made you look.
  • Do chant “Thank You Kessel” every time Tyler Seguin screws up. It’s their favourite chant, it’s only polite to use it to make them feel at home.
  • Don’t throw things at Andrew Ference, even though you want to. Channel your anger into recycling those goods.
  • Do boo Bruins that are not named Zdeno Chara, once in a while, you one-hit-wonders.
  • Don’t get upset if the visiting Bruins fan next to you brings up the 2011 Stanley Cup. Smile and ask them to help you count the Cup banners in the Bell Centre instead.
  • Do remind them that if they start a USA! USA! USA! chant, they are in fact cheering for the Habs.
  • Don’t throw hot dogs at them or on the ice. Wasting Bell Centre hot dogs angers the hockey gods.
  • Do make friends by engaging in some “suck it, Buffalo” singalongs during the intermission.
  • Don’t forget to have fun and behave yourself. We’re really jealous that you get to go to the game, do your fanbase proud./

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