Hi, my name is Kyle (@KyleWIIM.) I am a Red Wings loving imbecile who likes dogs, pizza, and long walks on the beach with the close accompaniment of a friend. I also write for Winging It In Motown, you know, the family of Internet Monsters who cheer for the Wings. The great people at EOTP asked me to do a guest recap with them, and I was ecstatic to show you all just how a lousy dork like myself dishes about hockey.
So let’s do this, mes amis. Pardonnez-moi, je suis un trou du cul géant.
!Allons ailes rouges!
1st Period –
- Did you know that Carey Price is good
- Did you know that Carey Price is a cyborg
- You might notice that I have mentioned Carey Price two times so far (make it three) and it’s plays like him stoning Darren Helm on a clear break is to why. Let’s be honest here, folks.. Darren Helm has heavier hands than the Monument to Joe Louis. (It’s a giant hand made out of stone, for those of you who don’t know.)
- Period ended up knotted at 0, with the Habs favored in shots 7-6. Not sure what’s more perplexing to me, the fact that Alexei Emelin manages to play hockey using sandwiches as skates, or the fact that Brendan Smith, a third-pair defenseman, lead all of Detroit in ice time through 20 minutes.
2nd Period –
- I’ll be honest, I’m having trouble staying awake watching this game. Nothing against the Habs, but holy crap.
- Both goalies are playing extremely well thus far. Not a surprise for Price, but for Jimmy Howard who is returning off of a long stretch of not playing due to injury.. It’s a welcomed sight to see him playing strong again.
- Brendan Gallagher is a little shit, yeah? Must be nice.
- This period was loaded with stupid penalties, and it got a bit boring.. But I’ll admit, 4 on 4 hockey is great. Without a doubt the most entertaining part of the game so far.
- After 40 minutes, still tied 0-0. Habs still control shots on goal, 21-18. I would like to invest in a goal. I don’t care which team scores.. Just someone, please.. Before I put on my pajamas and turn on cartoons.
3rd Period –
- This game was pretty evenly matched. However, I think Detroit seemed like they generated more chances. Still, pretty boring. Maybe being a fan of an apposing team who’s facing Carey Price will do that.
- Montreal found themselves atop the Wings 1-0 at 17:30 on a goal from Tomas Plekanec. Seems like Pavel Datsyuk blew a tire, which created the chance, and that was all she wrote for this one.
- Mac Pacioretty scored an empty-net goal. He played for the University of Michigan, so you’re welcome god dammit.
It was a tough fought battle for both teams, but in games like these it comes down to whoever has the better goaltending, and that’s just no question in this case. Just don’t forget, Habs fans.. Your coach looks like a fucking hot dog.
Anyways, thanks for having me. Always a pleasure to talk hockey with Habs fans. Congrats on the W against a team who just doesn’t have an identity. Good luck to you all, and good night!
