Canadiens vs Senators - 10 questions with Radek Bonk('s Mullet)

In order to preview this series against the Senators, we figured that it was high time we did more than just antagonize Silver Seven Sens from afar. So here is their resident degenerate to answer some questions.

You may not know the man, but if you're a hockey fan in Canada, or are into celebrity gossip anywhere, you have seen his legs on your TV. The Senators fan behind #Rihannaing, in which Sens fans pose pantsless in their hockey jerseys in order to rally their team, happens to be the resident degenerate over at rival blog Silver Seven Sens. Since I myself have no insight on the Senators to speak of (other than I am scared of them), I decided to ask Radek Bonk's Mullet (fact: that is his real life given name) some of EOTP's questions about his team, so that we may all be prepared for this playoff series. They had some questions for me, too, which can be found here.

What measures has the Ottawa Senators management taken to ensure that at least one Senators fan is in the building for Games 3 & 4?

Rihanna has a show in Ottawa on Thursday. I'm sure Melnyk's legal team can keep her locked up for a few days. In all seriousness, it's quite common for Sens fans to watch away playoff games at Scotiabank Place, so there might still be fans stuck in the parking lot from game 2.

As the blog responsible for Rihannaing, can you suggest some rallying methods for my fan base, in case we need them?
#Subbaning: The crowd sits outside for the first period
#PatrickRoying: You take your Stanley Cup rings and plug your ears. Popcorn works too.
#Paciorettying: If the Habs are losing, call 9-1-1
If those fail, I'm pretty sure Youpi has been wearing a Habs jersey without pants for several years now, so there's no shame in #Youpi-ing, although you might want to come up with another name for it.

What are the keys to beating your team?

Ottawa has been largely propped up by their goaltending this year. After his incredible performance this season, Craig Anderson now holds the modern single-season record for best save percentage at .941, edging out previous record-holder and former Senator Brian Elliott. Did I mention our backup goalie has a .936 save percentage? Here's a great breakdown on how good the goaltending has been. Montreal will have to put a few pucks past Craig Anderson early before he enters his patented "beast mode."

Although relatively steady in general, our veteran defensemen Phillips and Gonchar tend to get caught flat-footed against speedier opponents. If the Habs can take advantage of their cement feet, they should find themselves on a few odd-man rushes.

It's also rumoured that shaving Paul MacLean's mustache would rid him of all his powers.

What are the keys to beating mine?

Besides staying healthy, it's as simple as Ottawa capitalizing on their chances. Like Montreal, Ottawa is a big-time possession team, with a Fenwick close of 53.16%. Their downfall this season has been their inability to finish. Their shooting percentage of 5.94% is the lowest of any team to make the playoffs since at least 2007 (h/t Travis Yost). If they can finish at a higher rate, I believe they can beat anyone.

Wanna talk about the Spartan? I think we should talk about the Spartan. Let's talk about the Spartan. What do you think we'll get this year to top the Spartan?

They've asked him not to wear pants this year.

Who among the Ottawa Senators is most likely to be a Belieber?

No need to speculate here. 20-year-old Mika Zibanejad is a die hard Belieber. He's admitted to liking Biebs in the past and he's even following him on Twitter. Mika has definitely caught Bieber fever.

Were you born a Maple Leafs fan or a Canadiens fan? How did you then come to betray your roots?

Being Radek Bonk's Mullet, I was clearly born a Las Vegas Thunder fan.

I was born in ‘89 so by the time I was old enough to appreciate hockey in the early to mid 90's, the Sens were finally approaching double digits in wins. How could you not be a fan with can't-miss top draft picks like Alexandre Daigle, Alexei Yashin and Radek Bonk?

Assuming, as the world is, that Ottawa beats the Canadiens, which potential playoff opponent do you dread the most, and why?

The Sens have had no problems with the Capitals this year, and every game with the Bruins has been close. Going into the playoffs, most of us had an "anyone but Pittsburgh" motto. I fear only bionic-jaw Crosby. Jason Spezza still has nightmares of Crosby making him chase his own tail around the defensive zone.

And which opponent would you most like Ottawa to face, and why?

Not a single conversation goes by with a Leafs fan without a reference to the four straight playoff defeats we had at their hand in the early 2000's. My dream matchup is to have the Sens and Leafs meet in the Conference Finals, with Spezza making a heroic return for game 1. This is my face just thinking about it.

Have you noticed I haven't mentioned either of two players people would probably expect me to ask you about? This question will also not be about them. I would like to know if there is some secret tunnel or passageway out of ScotiaBank Place you guys never tell visitors about or are you all stuck and swearing like the rest of us after every game?

Okay, I'll bite. Personally I'd prefer MacLean dressing Wiercioch over Gryba, because I think he's better suited for the speed of Montreal's forwards. Ottawa's possession numbers have been extremely strong with Wiercioch in the lineup.
As for your second question, you should ask Alexei Kovalev. I've never seen anyone make a faster exit out of Ottawa.

Top of comments section | Top of article | Homepage