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Canadiens vs. Ducks Top Six Minutes: An unacceptable mess

Out of all the games the Habs played this year, this was one of them for sure.

Anaheim Ducks v Montreal Canadiens Photo by Minas Panagiotakis/Getty Images

Pre-Game Thoughts:

  • Sure, the Ducks are the worst team in the NHL by a fair margin, and they’re down two starting goalies, and other things
  • They’re somehow going to make the Habs sweat tonight right?
  • Though my hope is for a big night from Juraj Slafkovsky and that no one ends up injured.
  • Oh boy, Craig Button is going to yell at so many people tonight.
  • Also as a reminder, the reverse retros are absolutely cursed, Ducks by 5.

First Period

  • Sorry I misspoke, the Ducks are the worst team in the NHL in every category, except the power play.
  • I’d hate to be the team worse than them!
  • Well, the top line hit the offensive zone and finally get some chances, more of that please.
  • The rest of the team so far uh, looks less than ideal!
  • Joel Armia going around the entire offensive zone, and it yielding nothing makes me intensely sad.
  • Oh no, the Habs are going to the power play.
  • Guys they’re using Nathan Beaulieu as a penalty killer, you deserve to be booed for this.
  • I’ve watched a lot of Montreal Canadiens hockey, this is not a game that I would recommend looking back on fondly.
  • And the Ducks immediately score on the power play, this is not what you wanna see!
  • Jesus actual Christ Habs, what the hell is this.
  • Whew, I thought the Habs were about to go back to the power play for a second.
  • There’s losing a period, then there’s getting dunked on by the Ducks and boy the Habs certainly did the latter.
  • Period two has to be better right?

Second Period

  • I can’t tell if this was a better start to the period, or if the bar is very low after the last one.
  • Another long range point shot should get this team back on track!
  • After calling everything last night the officials seemingly don’t want to call anything tonight.
  • Not that we’re begging to see the Habs power play at this point either.
  • Well, we’re going to get it anyways I guess.
  • I don’t think I’ve ever seen a team fail to complete so many simple passes in a single game before.
  • This might be the least I’ve written for a period in an article this year, and to be honest I don’t think I’ve missed anything at all.
  • Who is ready to end the period with booing the power play!
  • Drouin’s stick shattering to end the period is just a perfect representation of this game so far.
  • Well, 20 minutes left to beat the worst team in the league!

Third Period

  • I have also been watching Bar Rescue clips during the intermission and am now imagining Jon Taffer storming into the Bell Centre to yell at Alex Burrows.
  • Well, the power play did not score...Again.
  • At this point one of the Habs should just punch a Duck to negate the man advantage.
  • Oh thank god, Cole Caufield still rules.
  • Poor Drouin, even when he does everything right he can’t buy a goal.
  • And Slafkovsky got demoted, for some reason?
  • COLE CAUFIELD RULES SO HARD Y’ALL.
  • Also what a series of good plays by...Mike Hoffman??
  • And naturally the Habs just give the lead right back.
  • Because Jordan Harris trips his own goalie.
  • I don’t know what the refs expect Hoffman to do there, the goalie is out of his crease and he’s trying to play the puck.
  • Oh there are so many words I want to say about the officiating, all of which are not family friendly.
  • Allen to the bench, is there any miracle juice left in the Habs?
  • Or Drouin can just let the guy blow by him and score into the empty net.
  • I can’t tell if I’m absolutely furious, or just intensely sad.
  • Don’t worry though, the Lightning are the next team on the schedule this Saturday.
  • Onward to the next one friends.

EOTP 3 Stars

3) Thankful for the breath of fresh air that is Cole Caufield

2) It’s going to stick

1) This Rat injects the site with life