It would be amazing to finally see a Toronto Maple Leafs versus Montreal Canadiens playoff series. It has been too long. Almost as long as the Maple Leafs Stanley Cup drought.
Except not really because their drought is way longer.
You suck, Toronto. Please give us the two points. We need them more.
- Auston Matthews looks like the type of dude who goes to a bar and complains about the lack of IPA selection even when there’s like 15 of them on the menu. For sure he wears tuques in the summer, also.
- He also scores less than a minute in. 1-0 Toronto. Le sigh.
- I was hoping for a good game but instead it looks like the hipster man is going to ruin it.
- COREY PERRY ONLY DRINKS STRAIGHT TEQUILA RIGHT OUT OF THE BOTTLE. 1-1. IT’S A GAME.
- I won’t lie, I could be very down for a barn burner tonight.
- Joel Edmundson gets hit from behind, no call. Good to know the Leafs are getting ref help tonight. First place teams always need that.
- Montreal gets a too much man penalty. So they do know what penalties are, at least.
- Oh, and an absolute 10-ply soft call against Jake Allen. 5 on 3 for the Leafs sounds great.
- The Habs... Killed the whole thing off?
- I’ll take things you 1000% assumed wouldn’t happen for $500.
- Shots are 11-4 for Toronto with five minutes to go. I’m going to call this an absolute win if it’s still tied after 20.
- And it is. I declare ultimate victory for the Canadiens. Rest of the game doesn’t count.
- On to the first period of the two that don’t actually count.
- The start of this period that doesn’t actually count is better for Montreal, so I’m tempted to decree that it does count. Let’s see how it plays out.
- Jesperi Kotkaniemi honestly looks great as a winger. I absolutely did not want to say that but it needs to be said. Galchenyuk flashbacks.
- The Habs are now leading in shots on goal. I am leaning more towards counting the period.
- Alex Galchenyuk just got stripped by Kotkaniemi. The flashbacks have mostly subsided.
- I am greatly disappointed that this has not turned into the barn burner I asked for...
- I could really go for the Habs not scoring before this period ends.............
- The refs called a penalty against the Leafs? Against Matthews of all people?
- There’s no IPAs to drink nor tuques for you to wear in the penalty box you dork.
- They killed it. I once again want these periods to not count.
- Well that didn’t take long...
- TJ Brodie sure picked an annoying time to score his first goal of the season. Too bad this period doesn’t count right.
- Jack Campbell is extremely annoying and I’d like him to take about 30% off for the rest of the game
- Just so we can get to an OT period that we’ll definitely lose very quickly, of course.
- Or not. 3-1 Leafs and just remember none of this actually counts because the Habs already won.
- A power play? Are they going to waste this one too?
- Does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?
- The net is now empty for Montreal. Empty like my heart.
- COREY PERRY AGAIN. THERE IS HOPE!
- No there isn’t. Toronto is the luckiest bunch of lucks to ever luck their way into lucking. These are totally the words I wanted to use.
EOTP 3 Stars of the night
3) And then Kotkaniemi took the puck from Galchenyuk and said have fun in Buffalo next year.
2) You should see what his passport photo looks like
1) No complaints about Perry