The Montreal Canadiens are once again facing the Winnipeg Jets, in Winnipeg. I don’t have a whole lot of creative chirps today, so here’s a comprehensive list of the only cities I would personally like to visit less than Winnipeg:
Flint, Michigan. That is all.
Please don’t get mad and email me to tell me about the rich history and wild night life of Winterpeg. I’ve been, didn’t like it. You’ll have an easier time driving up north and fighting a polar bear than convincing me it’s a place I need to visit.
Your province literally has a bunch of polar bears. People aren’t supposed to live where those things do.
- Kyle Connor looks like the type of dude who shows up to parties with sambuca or something. Whatever he could steal from his parents, basically.
- Oh, Blake Wheeler scores less than a minute into the game... 1-0 Jets and aren’t I glad I’m staying up until midnight for this.
- Now, Wheeler, he looks like the dummy who shows up with Bud Light and thinks people actually like that water beer.
- Josh Anderson takes a hooking penalty because somehow he’s the last man back to defend a breakaway...
- A solid kill. And it went fast, like Josh Anderson does.
- The Habs got a power play opportunity. They had as much success as I do arguing with my toddler. Toddlers always win.
- Oh look at that, yet another failed zone exit leads to a Jets goal. This time it’s Kyle “Hey guys my mom had some merlot this time” Connor.
- Another Habs power play, another toddler argument lost.
- Funny story, my toddler threw a fit the other day because I wouldn’t let him just eat ketchup with his fingers. Take a wild guess how that all ended...
- There were actually about 20 seconds remaining in the futile toddler argument. The Habs did not succeed in them.
- PHILLIP DANAULT SURE DID AT 5 ON 5 THOUGH.
- I forgot that Danault scores goals now. 2-1 and we have some life!
- There is no life when it comes to zone exits. If I needed the Habs to complete a zone exit or I lose my house I think I’d save myself the embarrassment and just hand over the keys.
- Jonathan Drouin just had his stick launched so far into the air I’m pretty sure it is now in Flin Flon, Manitoba.
- Oh look, Kyle Connor made it 3-1 despite the refs missing a trip by Winnipeg...
- Starting to feel like I’d have been better off fighting a polar bear than watching this game.
- I’d rather fight a polar bear than go to Winnipeg for a weekend. ZING.
- It seems Corey Perry has been promoted to Nick Suzuki’s wing. Bold strategy, Dominic, let’s see if it pays off.
- The Jets have decided to simply ice the puck constantly, it seems. Also a bold strategy unless the Habs can’t make them pay for 900 straight icings.
- Spoiler alert, they’re really not making them pay for it so far.
- BRENDAN GALLAGHER SURE MADE THEM PAY FOR ONE. 3-2. MORE LIFE.
- Josh Morrissey with some absolute interference in the neutral zone, no call. He didn’t immediately complain to the refs like he did the last time he committed a clear penalty so they let him off I guess.
- Shea Weber just got away with a very clear trip, so let’s call it even.
- Or, the refs could do their jobs properly at both ends. I dunno.
- Connor Hellebuyck picked a really annoying point in the game to make an impressive save. He might replace Kyle Connor as my least favourite Winnipeg resident before this is over.
- TYLER TOFFOLI IS THE HERO THE MONTREAL CANADIENS DESERVE. 3-3
- I would like for Tyler Toffoli to replace my best friend as my son’s godfather. I think he’ll understand.
- Not talking about the toddler, for the record, he understands nothing and refuses to try.
- Three-on-three has not been kind to these Canadiens. Again, back to the fighting a polar bear analogy because they’d probably prefer it.
- Yeeeeepppp. There it is. Ehlers.
- A stolen loser point, no more.
EOTP 3 Stars of the night
3) That was one point well earned
2) We’re a highly educated bunch
1) Overime puppies