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Canadiens @ Canucks Top Six Minutes: Tyler Toffoli, Canuck killer

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Tyler Toffoli scored two goals, the refs called about 200 penalties, and the Habs got two points.

NHL: JAN 21 Canadiens at Canucks Photo by Devin Manky/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

For our new readers and members, the Top Six Minutes is a continuation of the discussion in the game thread. We try to keep it light and entertaining. Full recaps are up the morning after every game.

The finer points of hockey, when it comes to the Montreal Canadiens, boils down to staying out of the box. They’re not very good at doing that. You do that, you go to the box... Two minutes by yourself, and you feel shame. And then you get free.

Let’s see if they can stay free more often than not tonight.

**SPOILER ALERT** NOBODY STAYS FREE TONIGHT.

First Period

  • Jake Allen back between the pipes. I’ve seen some people suggesting that if he has a few more solid games there could be a goaltending controversy in Montreal.
  • Maybe, maybe not, maybe shut up.
  • There should be zero controversy about the following statement: Tyler Toffoli, so hot right now. 1-0 good guys
  • Scratch the goalie controversy I guess... Tyler Myers. 1-1.
  • If you thought that the teams would tighten up and play some defense after last night’s barn burner, THINK AGAIN YOU FOOL. BARN BURNERS. ALWAYS.
  • Aaaaaaand we have an absolute joke of a penalty against Jonathan Drouin. I guess this is just a carbon copy of last night, brutal officiating and all.
  • Step 1: take penalty. Step 2: Step 3: Joel Armia scores. 2-1
  • Oh hey, another complete bullshit penalty against Montreal. Come on guys, it isn’t funny anymore.
  • This time Vancouver does the scoring, which I assume is what the refs wanted all along. 2-2.
  • Wait, a penalty being called against Vancouver, IN Vancouver? What is this sorcery?
  • Montreal does not score and I will also blame that on the refs because I can.
  • Another penalty against Vancouver, in Vancouver? I thought these refs were just last night’s refs in disguise but maybe I’m just an idiot.
  • Montreal didn’t score on that one either so maybe it is the same jerk Zebras.

Second Period

  • Joel Edmundson is off to the box to begin the second. I’m not so sure these refs are Habs hunting anymore, I think they just like hearing their own voices over the PA.
  • TYLER TOFFOLI. SHORT HANDED. 3-2 GOOD GUYS
  • I don’t know what has gotten into Toffoli, but I like it. So. Hot. Right. Now.
  • A penalty to Vancouver...
  • A penalty to Nick Suzuki...
  • At this rate we’ll be lucky to see more than 10 minutes of 5 on 5 hockey from here on out.
  • The refs know that nobody paid to see them right?
  • Wow, that was like almost four minutes before the ref just had to call a ticky tack trip on the Habs. This time it’s Phillip Danault.
  • That is not a penalty. In no universe where hockey exists and is played by people with brains is that something you go to the box for. Except for this stupid game.
  • Myers to the box again for Vancouver... I’d honestly like to decline it on behalf of all fans that would like these refs to chill out a little.
  • This might be the longest 5 on 5 stretch of the entire game after the Myers penalty ended. It’s nice.
  • JOSH ANDERSON!! 4-2
  • JAKE EVANS!!!!!!!!! 5-2
  • Now you will understand why I wanted to see the 5 on 5 so badly. Montreal is better at that than they are at penalty festivals.
  • Joel Armia just deked around like 7 players at once including two of his teammates. 6-2 BUT WAIT, WE HAVE A CHALLENGE.
  • The goal stands. Now we get to add yet another penalty to the score sheet, and this one I can’t blame on the refs.

Third Period

  • Given a 6-2 lead, I expect the Canadiens to be penalized anywhere from five to 73 times in the final frame.
  • Well Brandon Sutter scored. I’ll be honest, I forgot he was even in the NHL still. Why does it feel like he always scores on the Habs?
  • There have been no penalties and we’re over five minutes into the period. I assume the refs are from the East and like myself, they’re ready for bed.
  • It’s either that or they’ve blown their whistles out and are too embarrassed to leave and get new ones.
  • Paul Byron just got absolutely drilled on the foot by a shot. Please Lord, don’t take Lord Byron from us.
  • He’s back on the bench. Fast Healing powers brought to you by the stores of Max Pacioretty’s blood that the Canadiens still keep on hand at all times.
  • The first penalty of the period comes with 5 minutes to play, and is against the team losing 6-3. Can’t say that’s anything near what I expected from this officiating crew.
  • Well, Tyler Myers just threw a completely gutless, pointless hit on Joel Armia. In a 6-3 loss with nothing to gain on either side, in the final minutes.
  • I hope Tyler Myers is forced at gunpoint to walk barefoot through a hallway lined wall to wall with legos. Sharp ones. Then, and only then, do I hope the NHL suspends him. What a coward.
  • Hope he enjoyed losing 6-3, that giant coward.
  • Make that 7-3, just for you, you gangly Pterodactyl looking piece of shit.
  • Habs win, Tyler Myers ruined my night, and I hope the Habs feed this team on Saturday night.

EOTP 3 Stars of the night

3) Practice makes perfect.

2) The hockey gods thou

ght it was so funny they decided to run it back.

1) I have assessed both Lats and Hab at Heart a penalty for merely discussing this.

And bonus stars for the good doggos: