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Canadiens @ Oilers Top Six Minutes: Habs win festival of penalties

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It was a highly undisciplined contest. Apparently this is what the Canadiens like to see.

Montreal Canadiens v Edmonton Oilers Photo by Codie McLachlan/Getty Images

For our new readers and members, the Top Six Minutes is a continuation of the discussion in the game thread. We try to keep it light and entertaining. Full recaps are up the morning after every game.

Do you remember when the Montreal Canadiens traded a bag of pucks and several sticks of gum for Jeff Petry? I sure do. Do you remember the last time Jeff Petry scored two goals in a single game? I sure hope you do, because it was against the same Oilers that acquired pucks and gum for him a few nights ago. The pucks and gum, in case you were concerned, have accounted for zero career goals. Oilers are bad at trading.

After all, the Edmonton Oilers once traded Wayne Gretzky, in case you didn’t know. That should tell you all you need to know about that team.

First Period

  • Jake Allen making his first start. I’m already wincing when the puck goes anywhere near his zone.
  • That’s not fair to Allen whatsoever but the recent history of Habs backups has shot my confidence. If you know, you know.
  • I like Ben Chiarot, but I don’t at all like him sliding a brutally inaccurate pass for an icing. That pass was almost as dumb as trying to fight Wayne Simmonds.
  • Alexander Romanov looks like he wants nothing more than to light people up tonight. Welcome to the gulag, Oilers forwards.
  • Josh Anderson just went to the dressing room and I want to cry, sort of. Please be okay.
  • APPARENTLY ROMANOV ALSO WANTS TO LIGHT UP THE SCOREBOARD. 1-0 FROM RUSSIA WITH THE LOVE BONE.
  • Jake Allen just made a couple of really good saves in a short period of time. A reliable backup? In Montreal? It cannot be.
  • Phillip Danault to the box. Ruh Roh.
  • Joel Armia to the box. RUUUUUH ROH.
  • Ben Chiarot just turned in the most ridiculous, physical shift I have ever seen in a five on three. I hereby pardon him for the icing earlier in the period.
  • I do not, however, pardon him for taking a delay of game penalty to send them right back to that situation.
  • The Habs took THREE straight overlapping penalties and didn’t get scored on. Buy lottery tickets, folks.

Second Period

  • I did enjoy the whole killing of penalties and all, but I would much, much prefer to not see them try to do that in this period.
  • Well, apparently staying out of the box is not a priority. Romanov sends them back to the numerical inferiority.
  • KILLED. It would be nice if the Oilers would take a penalty though.
  • Oh, they actually did
  • Much like the Oilers, the Habs did not score. 0-1 is better than 0-4 though.
  • Oilers take another penalty. The turntables have really turned and tabled and stuff.
  • The Habs, this time, are doing everything but score. Since when is Mikko Koskinen good?
  • Brendan Gallagher to the box now...
  • This game might set a modern record for penalty minutes without any fights or misconducts.
  • JAKE ALLEN NASTY PAD SAVE ALERT.
  • CONNOR MCDAVID PENALTY TO END THE THREAT ALERT.
  • (That was definitely not a penalty and I’d be really mad if I was an Oiler fan) YEAH GOOD, YOU OVERPAID SCRUB.
  • Well Shea Weber just scored a goal and the refs waved it off for zero reason. Julien challenges, but I don’t see the refs overturning their own stupid decision.
  • He banked it off Koskinen’s head man, come on, let him have one.
  • I WAS WRONG. SHEA WEBER. GOAL. HOCKEY. GOOD. 2-0 GOOD GUYS.

Third Period

  • Real quick on that Weber goal, I feel like the ref was worried about getting challenged FOR goalie interference and ended up being challenged for lack thereof instead. Catch 23 situation, AMIRITE.
  • Just try to stay out of the box, please.
  • Shea Weber does not care what I say and gets himself sent to the place of shame.
  • The Habs’ penalty kill is good. Very good. I do not recognize this team despite having most of the same players it did last year.
  • Jake Allen is legit. He might not be as good as Carey Price, but I’d venture to guess that Price himself would name Allen the best goalie to wear a Habs jersey not named Carey Price in the last 10 years.
  • Oilers back to the box. A disciplined game, this one is not.
  • For as many penalties as there has been, how in the name of Maurice Richard does this game not have more goals?
  • Nick Suzuki to the box. The parade is never-ending.
  • Artturi Lehkonen??? ARTTURI LEHKONEN!
  • 3-0 Habs and go figure; 600 minor penalties and the first goal to be scored on any of them is a shorty.
  • Oilers back to the box for delay of game... Will we see a power play goal?
  • No. At least not yet. We will however have another shorthanded goal. Devin Shore. 3-1, just a tad nervous here.

EOTP 3 Stars of the night

3) That’s the first

2) Might have to retire this meme

1) Best off-season adjustment