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Canadiens @ Flyers Top Six Minutes: Kovalchuk scores, Kotkaniemi can crack

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Ilya Kovalchuk did what he’s known for, while Jesperi Kotkaniemi did something he absolutely isn’t known for.

NHL: Montreal Canadiens at Philadelphia Flyers Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

For our new readers and members, the Top Six Minutes is a continuation of the discussion in the game thread. We try to keep it light and entertaining. Full recaps are up the morning after every game.

I have no words. Tank or be tanked. Or win like 15 games straight and try to make the playoffs. I don’t know anymore.

First Period

  • I’m setting the over/under on how long it takes for a freak bounce or a missed pass causes a brutal goal against the Habs at five minutes.
  • Less than two minutes in there’s nearly one.
  • Okay we made it five minutes without a brutal mistake. I feel like the Habs should have one of those signs where they can track how long it’s been since their last brutal mistake that they hang behind the bench.
  • They can hire Gerard Gallant specifically to be the curator of this sign.
  • Who the hell is Alex Lyon?
  • I checked, he is in fact a Flyers goalie and he went to Yale. Fuckin’ nerd.
  • Big save on Max Domi, Big save on Artturi Lehkonen... 11 shots on goal and this nerd isn’t permitting any goals. Maybe he’s
  • Aaaaaand there it is. 1-0 Flyers.
  • Live shot of Tomas Tatar immediately after the Flyers goal incoming.
  • 1-1 thanks to Tuna’s slick hands.

Second Period

  • The Flyers got a breakaway while killing a penalty. Very Habs thing to allow.
  • Ilya Kovalchuk scores, though!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 2-1 and the old man’s trade value increases yet again.
  • I’m waiting for the equalizer from the flyers that will probably come soo.....
  • DOESN’T MATTER, HAD LEHKS. 3-1.
  • This isn’t how tanking is supposed to go, however, it is enjoyable to see the Habs having fun.
  • Connor Bunnaman, who we can also file under people I didn’t know existed, is off to the box. Send the Kovalchuk back in!
  • Nothing is really happening, but I feel the need to mention that Nick Suzuki is really good at hockey and is going to have a long career as a Canadien.
  • Thurrrrrd period time.

Third Period

  • You know who else is really good at hockey? Kovalchuk. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think this was 2007 Kovalchuk. Whatever they’re putting in his water bottle, I hope he keeps sipping.
  • Hooooooly shit...
  • Jesperi Kotkaniemi just beat the absolute shit out of Robert Hagg. This is not a joke.
  • I’m serious.
  • Of course, Kotkaniemi has to sit for an instigator penalty even though Hagg seemed perfectly willing to go in that situation...
  • Classic, quality NHL officiating.
  • I can’t get over this. Kotkaniemi is an enforcer now?? Just look at this!!
  • Young enough that he could have played in the world juniors this year. Old enough that he could beat the fuck out of your dad.
  • ILYA KOVALCHUK SNIPE ALERT. ILYA KOVALCHUK SNIPE ALERT. ILYA KOVALCHUK SNIPE ALERT. 4-1.
  • Kovalchuk might be the best free agent signing of Marc Bergevin’s career. He doesn’t sign a lot of free agents.
  • Well that’s one against the tank effort, but god damn was it fun...

EOTP 3 Stars of the night

3) This is usually true, but of course Kovalchuk had to go and ruin the tank effort.

2) This would be amazing.

1) FINLAND WINS THIS ROUND