Canadiens @ Ducks Top Six Minutes: Not Feeling the California Love

Pre-Game

• Scott is currently sicker than Max Domi’s hands, so pray for my well-being as I try to fight off this head cold.
• No Tatar? No Kulak? Hopefully no problem?
• It’s time for history, Carey Price can pass Jacques Plante for win by a Montreal goalie tonight, and it’s hard to believe that kid with bleached blond hair became this stud in net.
• Also I hope everyone is up to date on vaccines since Corey Perry is around tonight.

First period

• Did I miss something last night, why is Phillip Danault in a cage?
• Also I learned Craig Button is from Rochester, and I guess I have to be nicer to him now.
• Hello Anaheim PD? I’d like to report a drunk and disorderly, it’s the Canadiens power play.
• Oh, cool cool cool cool cool.
• That’s the most noticeable Jonathan Drouin has been all week, maybe he can try putting the puck in before a whistle next time?
• Good pushback after the goal as Jeff Petry nearly banks one in off the end boards.
• Hey, guys can we wake up a bit out there?
• I don’t know a lot about Nick Ritchie, but if he tries to put his hands on any of the Finnish children I’ll fly to Anaheim and give him a stern talking to.
• The power play is currently so bad that I can leave the room to get a drink and know I will miss literally nothing.
• This is going well!
• LORD BYRON DOTH PROTEST YOUR LEAD ANAHEIM.
• Oh for the love of God Habs, stay out of the box.

Second period

• One huge kill down, great work by Nate Thompson and company!
• Oh for the love of...Get it back fellas.
• That was certainly a challenge, for something.
• And now a power play, Anaheim is being the rudest kind of host.
• That was as abysmal as I expected it to be.
• OH COME ON AGAIN? Who the hell is Jaycob Megna anyway?
• HOLY SHIT THEY SCORED...ON THE POWER PLAY?!
• That is not how you respond to a goal, and the Habs are down two again.
• Make that three goals.
• Oh good, another power play.

Third period

• Is the ice just really bad or did everyone forget how to skate and handle the puck? Feels like players are botching passes all over the place.
• I will say, Jordan Weal has looked fantastic in this game, always making things happen around the Ducks net.
• I don’t have a snide remark anymore, I just hope the power play scores.
• ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
• I don’t blame Brendan Gallagher for being mad, just seems like everything tonight didn’t work at all.
• Well, that sucked regroup and beat Detroit please, can’t afford to drop points in these games.

Highlight of the night

EOTP 3 Stars

1) Halfway to becoming Saint Shea

2) About as embarrassing as it looks and sounds

1) And a final truth on this International Women’s Day