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Canadiens vs Flames Top Six Minutes: Burned at the Bell Centre

In a terrible game between two terrible teams, one team played less terribly than the other and that team was the Calgary Flames.

Eric Bolte-USA TODAY Sports

For our new readers and members, the Top Six Minutes is a continuation of the discussion in the game thread. We try to keep it light and entertaining. Full recaps are up the morning after every game.

  • I wonder what horrors await us today. Will it be the nightmare inducing power play? Will it be a report confirming Therrien will be behind the bench next season? Will it be yet another injury that will deplete an already injury depleted team? All of the above? Tune in to find out.
  • Speaking of injuries, the Habs lost two more players to injury in their stinkfest against the Senators. So Joel Hanley will be the umpteenth newbie to make his debut with Montreal this season.
  • The Calgary Flames are icing 13 forwards, 5 defensemen and a 38-year old goaltender (who played his last game more then a year ago). Either Bob Hartley has fully embraced the #TankSide or he's extremely confident that his shoddy lineup is enough to beat the Habs - you be the judge.
  • I hope I have enough beer to help me get through this game.

First Period

  • Mike Condon left the ice after taking a puck of his collarbone, so Scrivens will start in net...or not, as Condon came back to start in net. Okay, that was weird.
  • Our first line RW spot is like the defence against the dark arts post at Hogwarts, no one who starts there ends up lasting there. Paul Byron is the latest player to be promoted to the top line and who knows what ills will befall him next.
  • Halfway through the period, the Habs have exactly one shot on net. This is some can't miss hockey folks!
  • The only line that looks half decent out there is Mike Brown's line. Yes, I'm serious. No, I'm not drunk (yet).
  • Calgary defends exactly like Montreal does - terribly. I wonder why that is?
  • To sum it all up, a whole lot of nothing happened in this period.
Second Period
  • Dietz is obviously fake bleeding. If he wasn't, of course the referee would have made the right call and penalized the Flames for high-sticking.
  • Then again, considering how well the power play went for them last game, maybe the Habs caught a break by not going on the man advantage.
  • But unlike the Canadiens, the Calgary Flames did get an early power play (presumably to continue sucking the life out of the Bell Centre) but in comically Habs-esque fashion, managed to do nothing with it.
  • Oh perfect, how considerate of Sportsnet to interrupt this scintillating game to provide us fans with a Habs injury montage. This is just what we needed.
  • 3-on-2 one way and the Habs can't even put a shot on net. 3-on-2 the other way, and Joe Colborne puts the Flames up by one. And would you look at that, DSP scored for the Devils as well. Well played, Hockey Gods.
  • Why did they have to score off a Galchenyuk turnover? That could have been anyone (preferably a Therrien favourite who will not suffer any negative consequence for said action) but it had to be him. I guess this means Michael McCarron will be centring our top line next game.
  • You can take the Bruin out of Boston, but you can't take the Boston out of a Bruin. With less than a minute to go, Hamilton had to make a pass to Monahan who then had to put it behind Condon.
  • In case you were wondering what the Habs were doing, they looked like they thought defence was optional on that play.
  • More nothing, followed by some somethings happened in this period.
Third Period
  • Did you know the Canadiens have gone through 13 defensemen this year? More importantly, can you name all of them?
  • ♫ Take the puck and dump and chase, dump and chase, dump and chase...take the puck and dump and chase, my fair Canadiens...♫
  • Mike Brown takes a stupid penalty? Check. Calgary scoring on the ensuing penalty? Also check. Well, at least it wasn't a short-handed goal.
  • Rinse and repeat with Lars Eller's penalty.
  • Don't worry guys, this is just an elaborate ploy by Michel Therrien to ensure that his good friend doesn't feel too bummed out the decisions he's made this season (note: this could apply to either Bob Hartley or Marc Bergevin at this point.
  • The Montreal Canadiens being shut out by fellow Auston Matthews draft hopefuls, Calgary Flames. Not if McCarron has something to say about it! The big guy scored his first of his career to finally put the Habs on the board!
  • But Alexei Emelin immediately elbows a Flame in the head, to put Calgary on the power play know, because it worked so well the last time. Not to be out done, the Flames took a penalty of their own to play some 4-on-4 hockey (which involved some bizarre goalie pulling on the part of the Habs - but at this point nothing they do phases me anymore).
  • I ran out of beer before the game ended. :(
EOTP 3 Stars

1. Amen.

2. You forgot to include character.

3. You and I both, habinms.