Canadiens vs Ducks Top Six Minutes: West coast is the best coast

Last night, I dreamed that the Habs won this game 8-0. I was watching the game on TV at a McDonald's, and someone kept changing the channel, then a friend of mine walked in and she was as red as a beet; she explained it was because she is so fair-skinned and she had just been lying on a beach in Mexico for a month, and I was all, "What! I didn't even know you were out of town." Anyway, I hope the score part comes true. Also, TVs at McDonald's.

Two nights ago, the Habs were shut out in San Jose and had four goals scored on them. I don't know if it will be 8-0, but tonight's game had better be WAY better. The guys have had two days to adjust to my time zone. Let's do this.

First period

• Looks like the good people over at Gamecentre decided not to give us the option of watching the Canadian feed. I was about to protest, then thought of the respite from Hyundai commercials, so it's all good.
• Four shots on goal and a fight, and we're not even three minutes in. Buckle up, folks.
• Torrey Mitchell with the big hit on Lindholm. Welcome to the Habs, Mitchell!
• Fox Sports just likened Gibson to Carey Price. My ears - they're bleeding.
• Whoa, my Twitter feed is swearing all over the place. There it is. Beauchemin opens the scoring for the Ducks.
• Kesler is pretty happy right now that he narrowly avoided P.K. Subban though.
• Mitchell is hungry. Hungry!
• Speaking of hungry, I need to go baste my chicken. I never thought I'd say this, but I could use a Hyundai commercial right about now.
• Habs are getting one soon. They've caught their stride. Soon, boys, soon! Gibson is NO Price.
• The DJ at the Honda Center is lame.
• Okay. Good pace in this game. I cannot see them getting shut out tonight. In the much ballyhooed first meeting of the recent trades, DSP has had 4:21 of ice time vs. Sekac's 3:28. 1-0 Ducks.

Second period

• Good first shift in the second.
• I'm attributing all the empty seats at the Honda to long hot dog lineups.
• First powerplay of the game with the slash on David Desharnais. I hope they score just to shut these Fox Sports guys up.
• Subban is so good, you guys.
• When Markov lost that puck, I went, "Ack! Markov!" and my son said, "I remember when he was your favourite character." I still love him. Markov, to be clear.
• Another power play for the Habs and the Fox guys vehemently disagree while they spend 10 seconds talking about how tall Desharnais ... isn't. That is so 2013, guys.
• One of the worst power plays I've seen in a very long time. P.S. that is really saying something.
• Not so fast, Fox. It wasn't Sekac who scored. But I smell a frenzy in the comments section after the game. 2-0, Ducks.
• How about we turn down the suck. If this isn't a turning point for the Habs, it's going to be a long night.
• My god, this music is horrible. It is not even a matter of opinion.
• I've now been reduced to listening carefully for an unfortunate choice of words by the commentators regarding Stoner so I can make fun of it. Ha ha, Stoner.
• Very irritated when an opposing goalie is made to look good.
• Too many men call on the Habs. De la Rose with some nice work trying to get the shorty.
• PACIORETTY no cigar.
• Well, at least Anaheim's power play is terrible. According to the Fox guys, they never get a chance to have one anyway, probably why.
• Down two goals, end of the second. Won't be making any more jinxy predictions, since this is obviously all my fault.

Third period

• Gibson's net was loose for something like five minutes before he got a whistle.
• Not sure what was said in the dressing room at intermission, but whatever it was - it hasn't worked so far.
• Oy with the pressure right now. Please, please, please make this game interesting, Habs!
• Just checked Twitter. Fascinated by how many people in the East are still up. It's 12:25 AM out there. Ti saluto, east coast.
• I'm easily fascinated.
• I'm glad I'm not that poor sucker living in California waiting all year to watch the Habs play in Anaheim. I'm glad I didn't pay money to watch this game.
• Anybody who said the Habs would sweep the dreaded west coast road trip - take one step forward. Now, go take a lie detector test.
• "El Pollo Loco" - apparently a sponsor of Fox Sports - is such a lazy brand name thought up by people whose only knowledge of Spanish is limited to what they learned in Cheech and Chong movies. These are things I think about when the hockey sucks. Crazy chickens aren't even a thing. I have a better name: Crabby Chile Peppers. Those are a thing.
• Fox Sports doesn't know the difference between a penalty and an off side, carry on.
• 3:40 to get two goals, Habs. This is just for your information, I know it's not going to happen.
• Power play time. Empty netter. East coast, time to go to sleep!
• So what do you think, Habs fans? Is this the harbinger of the apocalypse, or just one of those games?
• I'm closing the comments section.
• Just kidding!! Bon soir.

EOTP 3 Stars

3. Truth

2. Ruthless

1. This should also be considered the highlight of the night