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Montreal Canadiens vs San Jose Sharks Top Six Minutes: Shark Food Edition

A somewhat brief and sarcastic take on the Habs-Sharks game

Ed Szczepanski-USA TODAY Sports

Pregame:

  • The Trade Deadline was something wasn't it? Kudos to Bergevin for getting Jeff Petry at a price we can all accept.
  • Still not sure why he's stockpiling checking line guys like they're beans and the zombie apocalypse was forecasted for next week. We'll see what Mitchell and Flynn bring us later but really "meh' to those two.
  • San Jose has lost their last 8 straight at home and they are starting an underwhelming goalie against the Habs, hmmm Admiral Ackbar what do you say to this?
  • it's a trap

First Period

  • So Jeff Petry takes on No. 26, following club policy that each successive player to wear that number can play nothing like the previous wearer.
  • PBP crew mentioning it can take a while to learn the Habs system. Dump-and-chase is the simplest system in hockey guys.
  • So how many Sharks players are going to ask Barclay Goodrow to do their taxes for them?
  • Giving Pavelski looks like that at the net is not recommended.
  • I have no idea what a 4th line of Parenteau-Malhotra-Weise is supposed to do.
  • UGH! 1-0 Sharks, seems like a deflection but you're due for that stuff if you are trapped in your own zone from the drop of the puck.
  • Price was never even set for it, which is rare as a sensible decision by the Oilers.
  • Weise taking a shift with Plekanec and Galchenyuk, because Therrien.
  • Yikes! But thankfully Carey is Carey, please stop giving Sharks scoring stars free runs up the middle please.
  • In case you thought the Habs had fixed their 1st-period issues, well they haven't.
  • Oh hey John Scott is still in the NHL.
  • Ugh, Sharks power play and our penalty killing ace is in the box. Typical.
  • I am pretty sure actual sharks don't dive like that.
  • At this point, Michel Therrien should recieve therapy for his phobia about losing faceoffs to the point he must use Malhotra on every defensive zone draw he can sneak him in for.
  • High stick or not, you're not supposed to push a goalie into the net to score. 2-0 San Jose.
  • If Eller gets benched for a guy tripping on his stick I will fly to California and slap Therrien with a cod.

Second Period

  • The overstocking of grinders is going to make a Hamilton call-up difficult, even though someone like Thomas or Andrighetto should likely be used to help generate a little offence. Can't have Weise stuffed into the Top-6 for the playoffs.
  • Price needs a restraining order at this point vs San Jose.
  • A stick explodes on accepting a pass, now I've seen everything.
  • Is the entire Sharks strategy based on tipping shots?
  • Habs are getting killed in their own zone by the weakest of the California teams this season. I'm almost glad i'll be missing the Kings and Ducks games.
  • Malhotra at 38% in the circle so far tonight. Anyone can have off nights but if you're purely a faceoff specialist than it shows why you shouldn't be a regular.
  • UGH, 3-0-Sharks. If you turned it off right here I won't judge.
  • Alex Stalock is going to set a team record for San Jose tonight, fewest saves required to record a shutout.
  • Parenteau taking a shift with Pleks and Galchenyuk, which is about as exciting as anything else Montreal has done tonight.
  • Markov kills off a Wingels breakaway, the greatest trick the Devil ever played was inviting a media narrative saying the Habs are a good defensive team.
  • Still sitting at 9 shots on goal, this tribute to Maurice Richard seems ill-timed.
  • When the Habs are like this, it is at least fun to see Subban go "Screw this" and let his natural instincts take over.
  • John Scott sees his defencemen broke his stick and gave him his, if he does not get a new stick for the rest of the game, would anyone notice?
  • Habs improve the shot differential to 24-12 in SJ's favour, break out the cake and ice cream.
  • Did Stalock study the technique of Mike Smith for that one?
  • Now how I do get pumped up for the 3rd period...Well after I do get to go to sleep and clean my condo tomorrow.

Third Period

  • Is it wrong I want to find out a Delmar container ship crashed into an iceberg?
  • I know it is wrong, but I hate that commercial and this game is sad to watch.
  • Habs got a shot on goal in the first minute of the period. Someone throw a parade.
  • PBP crew crediting San Jose's heavy forecheck as the reason they're leading tonight. Alternatively, they're playing hockey and the Canadiens are not.
  • Habs starting to build up some offensive pressure, or as it's also known, Sharks succumbing to Score Effects.
  • That should make you like Jeff Petry.
  • Goal or not? And when do we get an overhead net camera that doesn't look terrible?
  • Ah, no goal. But can't really say they deserve it when it was their first grade-A chance of the whole game.
  • Pull the goalie, but have Price play the point with the 6-on-5, it can't hurt with the way everyone's handled the puck to this point.
  • Eller is a on a mission, but still no luck on the scoresheet. Story of his season.
  • Delay of game penalty, which I don't consider to be the crime against humanity so many do, just irritating in it's application vs the number of times we'll see a proper penalty ignored.
  • And I hate everything, 4-0 Sharks.
  • On the bright side, this isn't AS embarassing as being crushed by the Flames or the Oilers on a Western Conference swing. Yes that is the bright side to this game.
  • Pull Price from net, but let him join the attack, as good a chance as anything else working to this point.
  • John Scott trying to push around Markov becaue he's horrible. Leave the General alone.
  • Malhotra on the ice again, Bergevin should have Billy Beane'd him at the deadline.
  • Yay, it's almost over.
  • When are the Habs ever ready to go when they head out West? Glad it's over.
  • No, my pregame musing did not jinx this game. If I could affect the outcome of sporting events Boston would not have won anything for a hundred years.

EOTP 3 Stars

1. Star Wars References always deserve a nod

star wars refence

2. This is a lot of puns

punny

3. When you're good, you're good. JonPublic was certainly more entertaining tonight than the Habs were

buddy cops




This is where we'd put the highlights...if there were any.