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Obrand Standard Time: Habs vs. Senators

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Thoughts and humourous quips on yesterday's game versus the Senators

Marc DesRosiers-USA TODAY Sports

The Habs easily disposed of the lowly Senators last night. Here are my thoughts a day late, as per usual.

On the Ottawa Senators in general

The Sens are the most random team in the league. Is there another team with as many "wait that player is good?" players as the Sens? Mark Stone: I've kind of heard of him I think. whoa he's that good? Mika Zibanejad: I think he was a first-round pick maybe? Wow he's pretty good. Mike Hoffman: I have no clue who that is. Holy crap he's pretty good. Bobby Ryan? That guy is a tool.

I'd feel bad for Matt O'Connor letting in a fluke goal if he didn't willingly choose to be part of the Ottawa Senators. You deserved that. Make better life choices man.

What is it with the Sens and having gross hair?

I bet Lou Lamoriello hates the Sens.

Is Mika Zibanejad David Guetta?

Chris Neil is a human sneeze.

The Ottawa Senators are to hockey as telemarketers are to the human race.

The Sens had a partial break. I was worried until I saw it was Chris Neil. He took the puck and literally threw it behind him out of the attacking zone. He isn't very good at all.

You know, for a team that is made up of whiny children the Sens sure act like whiny children a lot.

On Mike Condon

There are way too many Condon jokes that won't get past the censors.

Mike Condon is ----- ------- ------------ right?

I mean when Condon ---- ------ ----- ----- in a --------

One time on a road trip ---------- ------------- ---- -- -----Condon was all -------- -------- operation!

Just when you think Condon ----------  ----------

----------- ---------- ----------- ----------- -------------

On Bob Cole

Bob Cole is the best play by play announcer in all of sports and it's not remotely close. People don't like him and that's because they don't get him. They listen to Cole but do they really hear Cole?

On Jean-Gabriel Pageau

Condon stops Pageau point-blank. I can't believe that happened, Pageau never doesn't score against Montreal.

See?

Pageau probably won't have that great of a career but you bet your Neil he'll be inducted into the Canadiens Hall Of Fame.

On Mark Stone

Stone doesn't like Subban and Subban doesn't care at all. I'm not entirely convinced that Subban knows who Stone is.

Stone gets called for cross checking. "Who?" says PK Subban

On Strategery

I've noticed this set play that the Habs have run a few times. When the D has the puck at the point he carries the puck down low along the wall and the forward goes to the point to cover. Will generate a lot of offense when they get that down. Right now the D is waiting for the forward to realize what the next step is. I've noticed a few of the forwards wait for the D to dump it in before realizing what they're supposed to do before kicking it into gear.

On Jared Cowen

Cowen is as bad as he looks.

Cowen chooses to have that hairstyle. He thinks that looks good. Let that sink in.

Cowen's hair looks like a pro-wrestler's hair after that wrestler has been in a match for a long time.

On Erik Karlsson

Plekanec gets his second of the game. He made a two-time Norris winner look like Cowen.

You can hardly recognize Erik Karlsson without the dirty, greasy worms that he called hair crawling out of under his helmet.

Erik Karlsson was -3 during the game. I know the stat doesn't mean much but when you're supposed to be best defenseman in the league you shouldn't be on for three goals against. What I'm trying to say is that I don't think Erik Karlsson is the best defenseman in the league.