For our new readers and members, the Top Six Minutes is a continuation of the discussion in the game thread. We try to keep it light and entertaining. Full recaps are up the morning after every game.
So this is basically the home opener, right? I mean, it's not, but every game in Ottawa is basically a home game because Habs fans are awesome and we take over their building. It's like going to your very best friend's house; you just waltz in, toss all your stuff in a corner, grab a beer and some food, and buddy isn't even back from work yet. The only difference is the case of the Ottawa Senators you strongly dislike the friend because they're annoying.
They just try way too hard. I saw a sign in a hotel elevator in Ottawa last year which read that the Ottawa Senators are "perennial Stanley Cup contenders." That's a big old pile of nope right there. Furthermore, I find them inferior to the Montreal Canadiens in every way, and to be generally terrible.
Anyways, Mike Condon starts in net tonight, so I apologize in advance for however many contraceptive jokes I might end up making.
- BOB COLE! BOB COLE IS CALLING THE GAME AND I JUST REALIZED THIS. YES.
- Hemming Ottawa in their zone for the first three minutes or so of the game is really satisfying to see.
- The three-month old chocolate lab seated beside me is more dangerous than the Montreal Canadiens powerplay.
- She was probably still more dangerous at two months, also.
- Alex Semin just took a shot that made my spine tingle. I think he's worth the 1.1 million.
- GIVE TOMAS PLEKANEC A CONTRACT EXTENSION. GIVE HIM A CONTRACT EXTENSION YESTERDAY.
- That was an absurdly bad angle he just scored from. My fantasy team is loving it, and man is that a bad cheat by Matt O'Connor
- "Magnum" Mike Condon looks pretty darn good out there. That's his nickname now. It's a thing. Executive decision.
- SERIOUSLY, WHY IS TOMAS PLEKANEC NOT SIGNING HIS EXTENSION BETWEEN SHIFTS ON THE BENCH?
- He just pick-pocketed Erik Karlsson like it was nothing. #KarlssonSucks, and that was beauteous.
- Matty Five-hole didn't stand a chance on that one. That's his nickname now. Also a thing. Executive decision strikes again.
- Seriously impressed with Condon to this point, he looks quite solid. Something something Lifestyles.
- More powerplay time, surely they can get one with the way they're dominating at even strength.
- Nope, the chocolate lab puppy I mentioned earlier is literally 10 times more dangerous than them.
- My Grandmother's bridge club is more intimidating than them.
- The movie Gigli was more entertaining than them.
- I'd loathe Keeping up with the Kardashians, but I'd almost rather watch that.
- I'm going to stop now because it is actually a little painful to talk about.
- Whaaaaat did Condon just do? Second nickname idea for Magnum Mike: "Condominator." Add it to the list, at least.
- Jean-Gabriel Pageau gets a super fluke goal against Montreal because of course he does.
- A two man advantage. Surely Montreal's powerplay isn't so bad that they can blow a glorious opportunity to restore the two-goal lead, right?
- Think again though, because it's really bad and they should feel bad about it. It's like they're confused as to why the other team has so few players on the ice.
- Alex Semin draws a hooking call, and yeah that guy is worth 1.1 million easily.
- Jeff Petry just completed one of the greatest backchecks in the history of backchecking and hockey in general. Curtis Lazar doesn't even know what happened. Jeff Petry, man.
- Lars Eller is a beast and he literally does not care what you think about him driving to the net.
- Words cannot express how badly I want Tomas Plekanec to get that next goal. Please let him get it.
- Devante Smith-Pelly just made a huge backcheck himself. Drink all of the drinks that are currently within your field of vision.
- Why is nothing happening. Why can't something just happe....
- TORREY MITCHELL.
- That was a pretty nifty redirect. I'd like to have that GIF'd and get it installed as a constant loop for my computer background.
- Well, you know, with the lead and all why not have one more powerplay. We talkin' bout practice, MAN!
- Am I the only one who always yells "GO FOR A SKATE" When P.K. Subban gets the puck with space in the defensive zone?
- One shot on the powerplay. Yeah, they need a little more practice.
- Devante Smith-Pelly just got a penalty for... Breaking his own stick? Okay...
- Mark Stone just got yanked for a deuce when Kyle Turris was the one to actually commit the penalty. Don't feel very sorry for him. Hope your micro-fracture is okay, bud.
- Brendan Gallagher chirping Mark Stone dot GIF.
- I want one more insurance marker, but it really doesn't feel like they're going to need it if I'm being totally honest.
- Now killing a penalty for the final two minutes of the game. I'm superstitions but even I can say that this one feels like it should be in the bag.
- Magnum Mike has ice in his veins. 6-on-4 late in the third and he's on fire out there. Methinks they picked the right backup.
- HOLY SHIT, MAGNUM. WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A BACKUP!
- And that's the game. Ottawa tries real hard, but it doesn't matter, had Pleks.
EOTP 3 stars of the night.
1) Now I really want Tomas Plekanec to grow a mullet.
3) It won't help if they do, so yeah.
- Plekanec's first.
- Plekanec's second.
- Magnum Mike being Magnum Mike.
- Jeff Petry's Crazy backcheck.
- Torrey Mitchell tips in the insurance marker.