Canadiens vs Capitals Top Six Minutes: What is scoring?

• Sportsnet pre-game keeps mentioning Pacioretty and Ovechkin as clutch players. Obviously, the two are brilliant, but I read somewhere that being "clutch" means that you're underperforming during the other 99% of non-clutch moments. Thoughts, guys?

First Period

• My favourite description of P.K. cutting through a crowd of Caps players comes from the announcers: "P.K. SUBBAN, SHAKE AND BAKE, WHEELING THROUGH THE CORNER..."

• Did you know that Montreal is 14-5-1 when outshooting their opponents? The key word is outshooting. Too bad Corsi is dead, or it can really tell us something.

• Bournival boards Fehr hard, and Fehr whips off his glove to show some blood. Before this, Latta uses his hockey stick as a garrote on Gallagher (???). Oh dear. Mike Latta is going to find himself in cement skates at the bottom of the St-Lawrence.

• Laich and Subban get matching penalties, because of course they do. That was an incredibly subtle midsection jab there, Laichs. A Lays factory couldn't generate this amount of chippiness.
  

Second Period

• Yo guys, P.K. just said that he eats steel-cut oatmeal for breakfast. So do I. We're practically the same person.

• Wish I was in the room when the Caps designers came up with the jersey.

CAPS DESIGNER 1: Is that enough stars?

CAPS DESIGNER 2: There's never enough stars. Let us - let's make this - let's make this jersey...American.

• Tomas Plekanec and Tom Wilson get matching interference calls (love this vengeful side of Pleky), and then Latta gets scrappy. This guy has no chill. None.

• I just did some googling on the Caps' fourth line, and apparently Latta and Wilson are roommates and good friends. That's nice.
  
• I could watch a slideshow of Alex Ovechkin struggling against Carey Price forever.

Third Period

• This reminds me of the Rangers game. Whoever wins this is going to win 1-0, calling it now.

• The Habs skate aimlessly around the neutral zone. The Washington Capitals are on their 32391th powerplay of the game. Mike Latta wonders whether he can use his skates as ninja stars. My memories of even strength play grow faint. The elders whisper of a different time, a time when men were real men, goals were real goals, powerplays were played by five players who score against another four players, but now it seems like a vision of folly, like something I once glimpsed and forgotten in a fever dream.

• What I'm trying to say is that I want someone to f*cking score already.

Overtime

• I AM A PROPHET. Pacioretty is indeed clutch. Habs win it 1-0.