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The NHL is biased against the Canadiens, and for the Rangers

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After reading a post on Blueshirt Banter, I decided to do some digging for myself into the NHL.

Bruce Bennett

Earlier today the managing editor of Blueshirt Banter, SB Nation's New York Rangers site, did some digging* into Stephane Quintal's history in the league with the Rangers and the Montreal Canadiens.

*Furiously scouring google for a reason to cry about a player getting an appropriate suspension

What he found was that Stephane Quintal may in fact be biased against the New York Rangers and for the Montreal Canadiens. This struck me as odd, considering Brent Seabrook was suspended for three games for a hit that was undeniably far worse than what Brandon Prust did to Derek Stepan, so the two game suspension seems in line with Quintal's former decisions. So I decided to do some digging of my own.

What I discovered is downright terrifying.

Stephane Quintal's pro-Habs bias is a distraction, a false flag operation, if you will. You see, he's just there to conceal the greater conspiracy, to prop up the New York Rangers at all costs. According to leaked internal memos from the NHL head office, the entire league is rigged to make the Rangers look better.

What follows is excerpts from those memos, transcripts, and emails that I found.

Gary Bettman (A New Yorker, by the way): "Okay guys this whole revenue sharing thing? I know the union wants to prop up teams like Phoenix and Florida, but I'd rather just take all that revenue sharing money and give it to the Rangers so they can afford Henrik Lundqvist's new extension. All in favour?"

All: "Aye!"

A shocking turn of events, and now we know how a team that no one in New York cares about like the Rangers is somehow the second most profitable team in the NHL. But it gets worse.

Stephen Walkom (NHL director of officiating): "Alright guys (speaking to league officials), if you call penalties against the Rangers in the playoffs you're not moving on to the next round. It's as simple as that. Don't rock the boat, we're trying to do something special here."

Then there's the question of why Sidney Crosby wasn't scoring in the playoffs...

Gary Bettman: "Listen Sid, you've done a lot for the NHL, but you already won a gold medal this year, so back off and let the Rangers move on."

Sidney Crosby: "I'm a competitor, Gary. I can't do that."

Gary Bettman: "If you don't, we'll retire #87 league wide and you'll have to change all your superstitions."

Sidney Crosby: "Fuck. Fine."

Unbelievable. But it gets worse.

Gary Bettman: "Carey, you're not playing in the third period tonight, and you're not playing the rest of this series."

Carey Price: "What? I'm not hurt or anything, I'm fine to go."

Gary Bettman: "Remember when your dogs got loose against Boston?"

Carey Price: "Yeah, why?"

Gary Bettman: "We've got 'em, Carey. Don't make us "liberate" them like PeTA does."

Carey Price: "You monster."

So there you have it folks. The NHL is rigged in favour of the Rangers and there's your proof. The cat is out of the bag, which upsets PeTA because they were trying to use it to kill the cat.