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Montreal dominated the first round series versus the Lightning, and the individual player rankings reflect many positive performances.
| Goalies | Trend | Notes |
| Carey Price |  |
Montreal did not rely on Price's usual job-saving performance in their sweep of the Bolts, which is not only unusual, but also a positive since it means Price is yet to hit his perfect stride in the playoffs. The news just broke that Price was not among the three finalists for the Vezina. I suppose he'll have to settle for his gold medal...and the Conn Smythe trophy. |
| Peter Budaj |
 |
Stupid Sexy Budaj did not play any games during the playoffs, although he did join the Confederacy of Dunces known as twitter. Give him a follow. |
| Defensemen | ||
| P.K. Subban |  |
P.K. Subban has been unleashed. He victimized the bolts with his sexy moves all series, and played stellar defense. It's almost as if we have the reigning Norris winner in our lineup. |
| Andrei Markov |
 |
In all honesty Markov struggled in the first round. His pairing with Emelin was exploited a little more than we had hoped. Their pairing is the only one that finished with a minus. |
| Josh Gorges |
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Gorges is such a good ole fashioned Canadian boy. Does all the right things on the ice, and he dresses up before he heads to the rink, so you know he's a good guy. |
| Alexei Emelin |
 |
It was an up and down week for Emelin. The good news is that his genitals did not get attacked whatsoever, due to a lack of Lucic. However players were constantly blowing by him in the four game sweep. |
| Mike Weaver |
 |
I've just closed my eyes again, climbed aboard the dream Weaver train. Driver take away my worries of Murray, and leave Weaver in place.... |
| Francis Bouillon |
 |
Francis Bouillon played like a man possessed this week. Not only did he finish with a team leading +5, but I also remembered about the time he one-punched that waste of human DNA known as Darcy Tucker, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. p.s. Did you know that Tucker is still receiving buy-out money from the Leafs? Never change Toronto. |
| Douglas Murray |
 |
Murray's usage and TOI are one of the major reasons Montreal swept the Bolts. |
| Davis Drewiske |
 |
Drewiske has is practicing with the black aces. |
| Jarred Tinordi |
 |
Tinordi has not seen any action this week, well, at least in terms of hockey action. Montreal is a craaaaaazy city for athletes, after all. |
| Nathan Beaulieu |
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Nathan Beaulieu did not fight anyone with his father, so everything is rosy on the Beaulieu front. |
| Ginette Reno |
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What can I say? She was the clear superstar of the series. Her character/60 min TOI metric was off the charts. |
| Forwards | ||
| Tomas Plekanec |  |
Plekanec faced the top opposition, scored goals, put up points and made me feel inadequate as a man. Basically business as usual for Tomas. |
| Brian Gionta |
 |
The man everyone wanted to trade is helping the team win. But he's not 6'5", so we should have traded him at the deadline for Patrick Bordeleau. |
|
Daniel Briere |
 |
Commander Clutchy McClutcherton the IV is back in action, with the added bonus of being blessed by Reno. |
| Lars Eller |
|
The Habs should trade Eller as soon as humanely possible. Not only did he only put up 12 goals (for $1.325M) in the regular season, but clearly he'll never develop into anything other than a glorified 4th liner. Yes, he's leading the team in scoring right now, but we have way too many big, skilled and young centers. Get rid of him! |
|
Alex Galchenyuk |
 |
Alex Galchenyuk missed the entirety of round one, and there are whispers that he might miss round two as well. |
| Brandon Prust |
 |
Prust has been cleared to play, however one look at him and it's obvious that he's still quite injured. They need to send him back to the factory all summer for repairs. |
| David Desharnais |
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A disappointing series for Desharnais, although he did give us "just the tip" during game two. |
| Max Pacioretty |
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Max Pacioretty is just saving all his energy and goals for the second round. Smart strategy Max, very smart. |
| Brendan Gallagher |
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If Brendan Gallagher was an animal, he'd be some sort of cross-breed between a honey badger and....another bad ass animal that I can't seem to think of right now. Feel free to suggest one in the comments. |
| Ryan White |
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No games for White this week. Kinda like the Senators and the Leafs. |
| Travis Moen | |
Travis Moen received a concussion in a fight versus Miller in the game against Boston a month ago. His brain is still injured, and frankly there's no spot for him when he gets back. Things are about to get awkward. |
| Michael Bournival |
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Michael Bournival is playing smart hockey, with tons of energy and creativity. He was an essential part of the 4th line, meaning he'll likely sit in the second round. |
| Rene Bourque |
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Any goals Bourque wants, he's got it. Any momentum to claim, he's got it. Anything at all, he's got it. Booooooooooourkey! |
| George Parros |
 |
Parros will be called upon in the playoffs as soon as face punchers are required, which is never. |
| Thomas Vanek |
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I'm not quite sure how he managed it, but he outscored his line-mates and his underlying analytics were quite good as well. I'll just chalk it up to Vanek being a cyborg sent from the future to claim all hockey pucks. |
| Dale Weise |
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Dale Weise scored the biggest goal of his career. If he was George Constanza he would have left the team on the spot. |
| Marc Bergevin |
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Not only did he perform with class and character all series, but he established himself as a front runner for a future season of Dancing with the Stars. |