Canadiens vs Coyotes Top Six Minutes: Vanek Debut Edition

Vanek!

Oh my god! Right? RIGHT?

HOLY SHIT VANEK!!!

VANEK!

Anyways, welcome to Top Six Minutes, Thomas Vanek is an effing Hab edition.
This is going to be written in real time as you know from the last time I did this thing. Thanks for following my work folks I really appreciate it!

VANEK!

So the Habs traded expendables for Thomas Vanek yesterday and we're about to watch his first game as a Montreal Canadien.

Expectations are higher than Garth Snow was when he made the trade to send Vanek to Montreal.

Let's do this.

• With no disrespect to the other acquisitions, welcome short D man and tall Goalie to the Canadiens.
• I just saw Vanek in a Habs jersey for the first time. I had a habsgasm
• The Habs just gave up the first goal because the Hockey gods are tired of all our noise.
• Mike Ribeiro thrives in the desert because there's no snow in Phoenix
• Markov ties it up because he was infused with bear blood and vodka when he was in Sochi as per Russian regulation. Totally legal.
• Bergevin on RDS ranking a solid 9 of 10 on the suave scale
• Eller takes a penalty in the offensive zone. Bergevin just gave 50,000 cash to Bettman to extend the deadline so he can ship out Eller for Brad Richardson.
• The franchise should be relocated based solely on the fact that they howl after EVERYTHING
• Budaj looking like he went on a soul searching spirit walk through the desert and all he found was a bag of funions.
• Well that was a sobering period wasn't it?
• I guess I didn't expect Vanek to make a huge splash but I did expect him to score before Mark Stone.
• As the 2nd period commences I'd like to remind everyone that skill prevails and the Habs have more of it than the Coyotes do.
• Also, the Coyotes are filled with more randomers than a bathroom stall in the Sochi Athlete's village.
• Offside: AAAROOOOOOOO! Icing: AARRROOOOOOOOO! Bob Essensa bobblehead night: You better believe we're AAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOing.
• A Habs game just isn't a Habs game without the tangy zip of a disallowed goal based on ref interpretation.
• Vanek has his first scoring chance and is stopped by Mike Smith who immediately retired on top.
• Bourque is passed being snakebit. He's been eaten by the Anaconda.
• Habs head to the powerplay after Oliver Ekman Larson outhumans Gionta
• How many times do you think Korpikoski and Klimkhammer wear each other's jerseys by mistake?
• OEL got called for Too Much Delay
• A 5 on 3 for the Habs. I want Murray in front of the net for shit and or giggles.
• Subban doesn't care who the puck hits as long as it's in the net. Could have sent Galchenyuk's foot to the 5th dimension.
• Interesting tidbit: Thomas Vanek is a Hab.
• Every time PK Subban scores Mike Richards pulls out a tooth out of reflex.
• I love how Briere plays rover
• 2nd intermission, I hate intermissions. I wish getting tired wasn't a thing. You blew it, evolution.
• Fearless prediction: Vanek scores the winner with 4 minutes left in OT.
• Vanek looks really good in a Habs jersey, like, better than I do.

• So the Lightning suck. I wonder why?

• Vanek has the least punnable name ever. Vanek! At the Disco. That's it.
• I think Emelin has less hockey sense than Tony Romo.
• Next goal wins.
• The Coyotes are trying to just play keep away for 20 minutes and it's kind of working.
• I would make a "if the coyotes score and nobody is around to hear it" jokes but this is the most attention the Coyotes have gotten since the last time the Habs were in town.
• 5-2 coyotes, this was inevitable after all the joy we shared earlier.
• Budaj isn't that great at goaltending lately.
• I'm 0-2 doing TSM so for the good of the team I'm never doing it again.
• Budaj owes his team a round or two tonight.
• That was a sobering affair if there ever was one.
• If I wanted to watch something I care about get massacred in the desert I'd watch Breaking Bad.
• Night folks! Go Habs Go