Canadiens vs Flames Top Six Minutes: Sunday night is not all right for hockey

Pre-game

• My first time watching Hometown Hockey, otherwise known as Ron McLean's demotion.
• It's not bad.
• Darryl Sutter looks better with his white hair.
• I hate how men are better with age. No fair, WTF.
• Wait, Red Deer is known as The Big Smoke? Um, I think that nickname is taken.
• "Andrei Makrov." I can't.
• Sportsnet, you've had a month. Come on, man.
• Everybody's wearing their poppy. I got mine yesterday (I already lost it)
• The Sutters are an exceptional family. "Be happy with who you are, and what you've got." Amen.

First period

• Gallagher is always under everybody's skin.
• Galchenyuk's lip is already bloody?
• But sure, let's call a penalty on Moen.
• Weise and Malhotra sure have wheels.
• Even strength Calgary goal. Got 'em where we want 'em!
• Bit of a snooze now. Because it's Sunday, and Sunday hockey is wrong.
• Playing like they care: Weise, Price and Gallagher. The rest need a Red Bull or something.
• So does the Bell Centre, doing its best church mouse imitation.
• Therrien might look like he belongs at a speakeasy, but it works. Snappy combo tonight, Michel.
• Bourque-in-a-box
• Followed by a Dumb and Dumber To ad. Sorry, the joke is too easy.
• Shots are 14 to TWO? I'll give you a shot: shoot me.
• Patch is also trying.
• If I had four fingers, I'd only need one hand to count the Habs' shots this period.
• 2-0 Calgary. The boys are going to have brand-new orifices to start the second: bold prediction. Brand. New. Orifices.

Second Period

• Calgary has a shot in the first 20 seconds. You guys, WTF.
• Weise still caring. He's going to get one tonight. I mean, if the Habs score at all.
• I'm knitting, and telling my dogs to buzz off, it's not dinner time yet. Stupid daylight savings.
• Hey, anything to entertain myself during this game, since the game is not actually entertaining me.
• Oh look, another Flames power play.
• Nobody plays the puck like Carey Price, man.
• Habs trying hard, turns into Flames trying to stop them too hard. Habs' power play? This is weird. Will they do something?
• Emelin with a penalty for ... what? Diving, maybe? I don't get it. I'm frigging done with this game, but I have a piece to write.
• Hey - let's make it a five on three!
• Price is going to have to be a one-man team again, isn't he?
• The Flames flat out blew those 11 seconds. Thank god. And Price continues to commit grand larceny against them.
• Patch with a good short-handed chance. Right now it feels like we're never gonna score.
• Tonight's big, guys, Tampa's gaining on us. Will you please wake up???
• Early candidate for this instalment's title: 60 minutes I'm never getting back.
• 3-0 Flames. Can't Bergevin do what I do with my kids: your allowance reflects what you earn. Not just paying you for doing nothing. What in the &*$@# is going on. I seriously have way better things to do.
• If I had 11 fingers total, I could count on two hands the total shots this game so far.
• Garbage. Garbage. Garbage. It's the FLAMES. Stop it!

Third period

• OK, Patch scored. I may have had to race from the kitchen to write this. Weise with the assist!
• Turning it on in the third period is a very irritating habit.
• Weaver gets a penalty, also looks like he has a fly on his face. Your TV too?
• My current biggest worry this evening is that I accidentally added rosemary to my bolognese sauce - I won't tell my kids so you can't either. I DO NOT care about this game anymore.
• 4-1, Flames. This couldn't be stupider.
• Do we see Angry Therrien tonight?
• Nutmeg.
• That's what I meant to add to the sauce, I still did, that will probably make it better. Trying to fish the rosemary out has been way funner than watching this game.
• 5-1 Flames. There aren't enough paper bags.
• Speaking of bags ... bag skate. BAG SKATE.
• 5-2. Thanks Eller, but I just don't care.
• The Hometown tour is coming to Burnaby? OK, that's been the best news this game.
• Therrien is letting his frustration show. Price comes out of the net, Calgary gets the empty-netter.
• 6-2. That was our winning formation in my high school volleyball team. Can't beat the 6-2.
• There is no excuse for this game. Or even a reason. This, coupled with the Leafs' win last night, has easily made the centre of the universe's year (otherwise known as Toronto).
• Chicago Tuesday. I'm ... scared.

Three Stars

1.

Highlights

Pacioretty scores thanks to some good work by Desharnais in front of the net:

The other goal:

Follow @chile_pepper