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Canadiens vs Devils Top Six Minutes - Jersey Snore

With an abhorrent first period and only a marginally better rest-of-game, the Canadiens beat the Devils 3-2.

Jean-Yves Ahern-USA TODAY Sports

  • Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  • Sorry, I was just reliving the first two periods there. HOW AWFUL WERE THEY?
  • 95 per cent of the tweets I saw during the first two periods we along the lines of: What happened to the Habs that beat the Leafs on Saturday?
  • It turns out they caught whatever is afflicting the Leafs.
  • Fun RDS graphic: in 43 minutes of ice time, the Habs had 10 shots on goal.
  • Their fancy stats were horrendous.
  • Their goaltending was spectacular.
  • They were ultimately outshot 29-17.
  • And yet, they won.
  • See? They caught Being The Leafs from the Leafs on Saturday.
  • Hopefully it's just a minor bug and this isn't what the real Habs look like.
  • Yikes, that TimOrTom Sestito almost horrific injury.
  • Max Pacioretty is better than you, your mom, and your dad. And your sister, and your brother, and your friends, and everyone you know.
  • Michael Ryder adjjdfkjhfdsjkhaslskjdalkjdfakdjsadfkljfldskjf.
  • Without looking, I bet Michael Ryder was coming off of a looooong scoring drought before he potted one against the Habs.
  • Literally everybody on that dumb team is a Habkiller.
  • Whenever the Bell Centre decides to stop playing that stupid Robin Thicke song would be good.
  • Tomas Plekanec is actually the underrated player people kept (keep?) saying Loui Eriksson is.
  • P.K. Subban with two of the best defensive plays I've seen from P.K. Subban since, like, his last NHL game. Ho-hum. He is so good it makes me cry.
  • How cute is Alex Galchenyuk when he scores? It's like he's not one of the most talented players and every goal is a surprise. Squish.
  • Hey, remember when we were in panic mode about the penalty kill?
  • The network that airs New Jersey Devils games and New York Islanders games thought the New Jersey Devils were the New York Islanders.
  • Rene Bourque praise for JD__: well... I mean. He be scoring. Although every time it's someone else's turn to do the Top Six, a little piece of me dies because I know that will be one more Top Six without Rene Bourque compliment for JD__.
  • EOTP Third Star: "Well if Subban can't be D at the Olympics, maybe he can be G" by .______.
  • EOTP Second Star: JonPublic regarding Pacioretty on the penalty kill: "It’s like Christmas in… December. dammit."
  • EOTP First Star: THIS because I was just gonna say we need one, from Simon Ledsham: "Make a P.K. Subban defensive play video montage. It should obviously include that 2-on-1 he just handled so effortlessly. That video would be awesome to link to when someone says that Subban isn’t reliable defensively. There’s a whole lot of good material out there, so it shouldn’t be so hard. I’m not a very good video editor, so unfortunately I won’t be doing this. Yet, I’m sure there’s someone here who’s up to the challenge!" (TAS note: this please.)
  • Your Montreal Canadiens have now leapfrogged the Detroit Red Wings and the Tampa Bay Lightning and sit (for now) in second place in the Flortheast. See you in 48 hours, for what is hopefully a more interesting game and a more convincing win. Because that was a win that was a lie.