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David Aebischer - Goalie for Rent, Trade, Waiver Pickup, or Sold for a Bucket of Pucks

I'll rarely be more brunt or beligerent - David Aebischer must go!

This Swiss stiff full of holes should be had for a song. Even a Celine Dion song!

He should be given away, put on a bus, a train, a plane, and a rocket launcher.

This goalie's chances of success are worse than a eunuch's odd's at a strip club.

Give him the boot. The heave-ho. A no-recall stint in a mental institution.

He's shell-shocked without ever having been to war.

Aebischer is a guaranteed loss for the Canadiens - point blank!

I watch him play and I get shivers, nervous twitches, cold sweats, and unparalleled paranoia.

He has born loser written all over him.

How do I know all this?

Well, I grew up a goalie, confident and cocksure of my abilities. I learnt early on how to face opponants. I learnt the worth of positioning and poise. I studied risk versus odds in regard to shooters. I studied subjects most likely to beat me. I have lived in "The Zone", and been aware when I'm off.

Goaltending is all about confidence.

David Aebischer's game is a mess. He tosses himself about like a baby seal on a greased surface. He's on his knees when his defenseman have the puck anywhere near. He throws himself at shooters instead of angling himself to become wide to the puck. He's off-balance and out of position after each save. He is rarely in the middle of his crease, upright, and centered in his net. Aebischer cannot butterfly and seal off the lower portion of the net - ever.

When he makes a save, it is rare that the puck lands in front of him to be safely smothered. He has even more trouble directing rebounds into corners because of this non-style.

This kinetic, frazzled style of goaltending gives defenseman fits. Where he should be inspiring composure, he is causing utter chaos.

Aebischer looks as if he is facing bullets being deflected in front of him.

In last nights game versus New Jersey, I saw him reach way too far for a shot destined wide and high to the gloveside. He didn't spread or split in the attempt - he lunged at it. He landed forward, almost face down, his glove being the first thing to touch the ice.

In one sequence, as defenseman passed the puck side to side behind the net, Aebischer dropped to his knees three times without a Devils forward being remotely close. Twice he cuddled the goalposts nervously looking behind the goal line at his D.

Just what the hell was he so worried about? Did he think his own D was going to fire at him?

On Jersey's game winner with 7 seconds left, all he needed to do was let a puck hit him. With the faceoff to his right, he was a step to the left from the middle of his net. The way he attempted to make the save, you'd think the edges were shaved off his skates! As the puck was drawn from the faceoff to the blueline, then passed to the middle of the ice, Aebischer came slidding across the crease on his knees, missing the shot low to his stick side.

You should have seen the expression on coach Guy Carbonneau's face - sheer disbelief!

Aebischer has now lost six games in a row. I doubt he'll remain in a Montreal uniform long enough to win another.

Last night, a tight Canadiens defense gave him his best chance for a win. As they maintained a slim 1-0 lead for three periods, the usually shot generous Habs D limited New Jersey to below 20 shots. They gave up little in the manner of good scoring chances.

Aebischer undid their solid work turning what ought to have been routine saves into prime scoring chances. He did it on his praying knees, laying on the ice, flat on his back, beyond his crease, and almost behind his net.
He's making Andre "Red Light" Racicot look like Patrick Roy.

The time to unload Aebischer is yesterday!