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Malkin in the Middle of Mystery

The latest developments in the missing Malkin mystery appeared in the Russian daily I-Tar-Ass in todays morning edition.

The paper quotes several unamed sources who claim not only has he vanished from his Metallicaburg Magnetoscope team, but that the future Penguin has also moved out of his mothers basement apartment.

"He took toothbrush and dental floss', cried a sobbing Mrs. Malkin, oblivious to the mass of KGB dusting her sons computer for prints. "He just waltzed out like a Penguin", she whispered, with a Moscovian nudge-nudge wink-wink.

His companion Gretka was just as puzzled. "He didn't even stop by for his usual Friday night tea", she said, before bursting into laughter. "He may be gone far, far, as sometime in the day he slipped in like a penguin and took back his favorite Moo-Moo blanket he's given me for gift".

A Russian diner owner was being very tight lipped as to knowing anything after it was rumoured Malkin had stopped in for lunch. "He came in, had his usual platter of small fish and squid, and bobbed out like a seal" he said, then blushing, "Well maybe a penguin", before running back into his shop.

The Russian chekists are apparently stumped as to where he would flee to and were last thought working on a connection between the floss and the squid. They have plastered 27 Russian hockey arenas with pictures of the missing Moo-Moo in hopes of a break in the case.