Dive Files: a recap of the worst culprits last season.

Simply the best! - Harry How

Is it a dive? Is it embellishment? It doesn't really matter. It's pathetic, and it's time to shame the perpetrators.

This year we will keep a close eye on dives, acting, and all other form of deceptive embellishments that our beloved NHLers may bring about.

To start off the recap, it's worth mentioning that, despite its shortened schedule, the 2012-13 campaign provided some magnificent dives, plunges and Oscar worthy moments.

The Bruins were the first team to comment on the plague that is infiltrating the NHL. Coach Claude Julien described it as embarrassing to the league. Of course, we all know that the Bruins don't dive. Right?

Let's take a look at some of the most blatant attempts to draw calls last year:

1. David Perron shows the Oilers management what he can bring to the team:

Perron_medium_medium

This is the rarest of all hockey deceptions, as you can see Perron provides us not only with an example of a dive, but embellishment as well. The judges gave him a 8.0 on style, and 8.5 on originality.

2. Henrik falls and Daniel is not there to catch him:

This particular GIF is not from last year, however no diving list would be complete without mentioning at least one Vancouver player. In fact, I should probably mention their other notorious sea dog, but by now we're all aware of Ryan Kesler's antics.

3. Craig Anderson implodes, again:

Craig Anderson made a name for himself in the playoffs last year. Not only was he the main reason Ottawa won their series vs. Montreal, but he also provided us with some of the worst acting since Rob Schneider's last straight-to-DVD release.

4. Joffrey Lupul gets sniped from the rafters:

I'll borrow Joffrey's own words for this one, because they seem to suit it perfectly.

"I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but eventually he's going to stop getting the benefit of the doubt from guys around the league. " - Joffrey Lupul

Those who watched the season opener between the Leafs and the Habs know that Lupul was up to his old tricks once again, and he'll undoubtedly appear in our Dive Files as the year unfolds.

5. Zdeno Chara disproves Newton's Third Law of Motion:

The biggest man in the NHL falls victim to one of the most horrific assaults in NHL history. Watch closely; as Lars Eller viciously tugs his jersey, causing the behemoth to collapse, launch his legs into the air, all while nearly completing a 360. Surprisingly Chara was not injured by this barbarous act, but I assume the emotional scars will last forever.

6. Zdeno chara gets mugged by a goon:

Once again, the biggest man in the NHL is victim of a heinous blow, inflicted by one of the most vicious players in the league. I suggest you put the children to bed before watching this one, viewer discretion is advised.

7. Tyler Seguin throws a dive party, and doesn't forget to invite his legs:

An MRI of Seguin's leg after the game revealed several lacerations to his pride, however his ego remained perfectly healthy.

8. Erik Karlsson gets brushed by Kaleta in the head...ear...neck...back.

You may see this and say "Wow, did he really just collapse after that light tap to his back? That's utterly pathetic! Only a mediocre hockey player would attempt such tomfoolery to make up for his lack of god given talent. It is now very apparent that Karlsson sucks!"

Be that as it may, I must point out that just like Mike Ribeiro, Erik Karlsson happens to suffer from a rare condition known as "enorma fälska". He gets a pass, this time.

9. Mike Smith could have held every single spot. Here is his plummet reel:

Smith isn't the only goalie that dives, but he is the goalie that dives the most. His acting is so poor that he would fit right in on the set of Two and a Half Men.

10. Dustin Brown channels his inner Kate Moss and crumples at the slightest touch:

Of course, that is just one of the many examples of Brown's embellishment that I could have linked. He hits the deck more often than a crewman of a battleship in World War 2.

11. My personal favourite, The Night that Shawn Thornton almost died:

For those wondering, Thornton didn't actually die that night, but it's quite apparent that it came very close.

12. P.K. Subban goes for a dip:

I had to dig a little to find a clip of Subban diving in recent years, and unfortunately I couldn't find anything more recent than this obvious evidence of shenanigans. This video was taken during the 2011 series vs. Boston, and there's no denying that it was an blatant attempt to draw a call.

Subban receives a baker's dozen classless Subban's for his horseplay:

Subbans_medium

Can you think of any other dives that I may have missed from the 2012-13 season? If so, go ahead and post them below in the comments.

Author's Note: I purposely left out Marchand footage. Have at it.


X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Eyes On The Prize

You must be a member of Eyes On The Prize to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Eyes On The Prize. You should read them.

Join Eyes On The Prize

You must be a member of Eyes On The Prize to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Eyes On The Prize. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9355_tracker