Top 10 Habs Rumours for the Summer of 2009

9 - Bob Gainey is whispered to be interested in landing the Kings Alexander Frolov and has called the Ottawa Sun's Bruce Garrioch to see if he is available. Source: Yesterday's Cottonelle

8 - Georges Laraque is believed to be willing to waive his no trade clause in order to return to Edmonton, where he could continue to pursue his interest in philanthropy full time. The one for one deal has apparently hit a snag as Oilers GM Steve Tambellini has refused to part with their dressing room attendant. Source: Christie Chorley

7 - The apparent dangling of the Kostitsyn brothers in order to acquire Atlanta's Ilya Kovalchuk had a short shelf life when Thrashers GM Don Waddell answered the speculation with a rhetorical "How stupid do I look?" Source: National Lampoon

6 - Montreal were briefly involved in talks to acquire Maple Leafs' defenseman Tomas Kaberle. Word is that Habs GM Gainey called counterpart Burke in Toronto to inquire about Kaberle's availability. Talks broke down immediately when Gainey reached Burke's messaging service, and the rambling went on for over five minutes. Source: Toronto Stock Exchange

5 - Reports are unconfirmed thus far, but rumour has it that when Gainey was asked what he felt was his best acquisition over the summer, he replied without hesitation that is was coach Jacques Martin. Source: Rejean Tremblay on weed

4 - Rumblings continue to make the rounds that Canadiens defenseman Ryan O'Byrne is available for a song. While it cannot be substantiated as of yet, rumours persist that Detroit have offered the J. Geils Band classic "First, I Look At The Purse". Nashville are not in the running. Source: Jeremy Roenick

3 - Stephane Richer and Youppi are now an official couple. Source: Stanley 25

2 - The Vincent Lecavalier talks have apparently not yet reached an impasse. Lightning GM Brian Lawton, while buying Kraft Dinner cases at Wal Mart, grinned widely while denying the Tampa franchise was in financial trouble. "We're not in dire straights. In fact, there's more to rumours of me joining Dire Straits that there is to this. Do you know where they keep the mock chicken?" Source: America's Funniest Videos

1 - The rumoured three - way deal between Montreal, Ottawa and San Jose is actually a five - way deal between Toronto, Boston, San Jose, Ottawa and Montreal. Disgruntled Senators' winger Dany Heatley has expanded his list of teams he would accept to be traded to 27. In fact, Heatley is rumoured to have buckled so badly, that he is now listing three destinations he would refuse to go to, opening up 27 possible scenarios. Ottawa GM Bryan Murray has worked a complicated flip that would see Heatley dealt to Boston for Phil Kessel, who in turn would be shipped to San Jose for Patrick Marleau. Marleau would then be offed to Montreal for Roman Hamrlik, who the Senators would then package with a first round pick to Toronto for Mike Komisarek. As Boston would be way over the cap, they would then aquire Komisarek from Ottawa for Heatley, who failed to add the Senators in his list of three undesirable destinations. Ottawa would then have Heatley on agreeable terms, costing them only a first round pick. Source: American Standard