From a panel of hockey insiders, gossip mongerers, the sources of rumour mills and whispers around the league, and a guy at Subway who looked suspiciously like Bruce Garrioch, here are the top 10 reasons why Sid the Kid is mired in a deep slump of late.
10 - Pictured himself in a Kansas City Scouts jersey, Reebok styled, and has gone into a deep depression.
9 - Afraid to reveal he is actually the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.
8 - Mario Lemieux' s son embarrassed him in a driveway game of 1 on 1 ball hockey.
7 - Still paying off the tab from Ovechkin's "Road Trip" room service stunt.
6 - George Laraque has gotten him fixated on the last Ludacris CD.
5 - In a reaction to the Jason Blake spear, made a trip to local video store to rent "Gladiator". Dimwit store clerk accidentaly rented out "Glad He Ate Her" porno. Puberty has kicked in big time as a result.
4 - Guilt trip. Recently lent unused razor to Britney Spears.
3 - Loss of ice time to Gary Roberts.
2 - Actually believes that "Eyes On The Prize" postings titled "Sidney Crosby, Countdown to 2012" are destiny.
1 - Role model Aaron Downey has been demoted to the minors.